I had to read that title a few times. As it potentially could be its own answer: offer a blowjob
…I know, I’ll see myself out now…
What a useless post.
Do you handle multiple dicks or just your own?
Immediately strip and start furiously masturbating.
That’ll do it
“Yup, that’s me on the OSHA poster.”
“I’m the reason they changed the safety rules 3 times in a month”
I cough into my hand as I reach out to greet them and fart loudly as I make eye contact while shaking their hand.
Boring perhaps, but just get up and leave.
“This is exactly the kind of confidence we’re looking for in a candidate. You’re hired!”
Drugs.
“I’ve always been on the lookout for great places to start a workers union.”
Easy, just don’t come at all
But keep stroking it?
Gotta edge them for as long as you can. That way you can get a raise.
Establish inward dominance as well as outward dominance.
“I do not believe the AI hype”
Blowie with lots of teeth
Calm down now Trump
Pants go down to ankles
Underwear go down to ankles
And then the helicopter starts up
I think you’re just supposed to not get hired, not get arrested!
This reminded me of:
If I’m genuinely speed running this and don’t have consequences is probably drop slurs followed by multiple, conflicting extreme political opinions involving violence and the like. The goal is that even if you find a racist who is excited about your slurs you can hit 'em with extreme progressive takes like “kill all men” or something.
Worst case, after saying a bunch of bad things and conflicting opinions they’ll probably still just think you’re odd.
A better but boring answer, just say “nevermind, I don’t want this job” first thing. lol.
A better but boring answer, just say “nevermind, I don’t want this job” first thing. lol.
Story time: That happened to me. I was the interviewer.
The canidate showed up and answered my first question with “I accepted another offer this morning.”
It was a short interview.
I think my notes just said “poor communication skills”, which seemed nicer than “didn’t occur to them to text rather than show up”.
Pull out a joint and start smoking it and ask if they want a hit
“dude no smoking outside designated hotboxes”
You’re hired.
