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Urethra Franklin@startrek.website to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 1 year ago

Fake news, fake penis...

startrek.website

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Fake news, fake penis...

startrek.website

Urethra Franklin@startrek.website to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 1 year ago
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  • Sasha [They/Them]@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    1 year ago

    Power move

    I’d totally do this on purpose

    • Smoogs@lemmy.world
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      As did they.

    • UprisingVoltage@feddit.it
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      Absolute power move.

    • assassin_aragorn@lemmy.world
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      Simultaneously a threat and an incentive!

    • hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      Assert dominance by showing everyone your dildo on live TV.

  • _//(0)(0)\\_@lemmy.world
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    I do 3D scanning for one of the more popular high end sites. The guys coat their junk in smooth on & pour silicon in the resulting plaster mold, then send that to me to scan, embedded pubes & all. Not my favorite job but it’s an honest living. Just wish they’d send me some silicon vaginas every once in a while.

    Edit: Oh, and Yvette knew exactly wtf she was doing

    • Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee
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      Edit: Oh, and Yvette knew exactly wtf she was doing

      Yeah, who keeps a dildo on their bookshelf on full display, unless they want it to be seen?

      • Psychadelligoat@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        Me, though it’s more indifference than active desire

        Brought my wife’s bad dragon collection out so she could show a friend the different firm esses and my ADHD ass put one on the shelf

        It’s been there for months, keeps getting put back there

        I could go move it right now if I wanted but now that’s it’s place now

        • Daft_ish@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          Heh, firm esses.

      • Jessica@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        deleted by creator

    • doctorcrimson@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      Imagine losing some hair like that.

      • the_third@feddit.de
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        All I can imagine right now is the sound of a plucked guitar string.

        • doctorcrimson@lemmy.world
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          Followed by an involuntary strained human yell.

  • notsofunnycomment@mander.xyz
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    What’s wrong with that.

    • Jimbabwe@lemmy.world
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      Nothing’s wrong with dildos, but it has to be pretty embarrassing to show the world that you read books

      • Midnight Wolf@lemmy.world
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        That’s why I only fill my bookshelf with bad dragon toys

        • Norgur@kbin.social
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          Just imagine the wobble that goes through this array of assorted dragon dicks when someone bumps that shelf.

          • MudSkipperKisser@lemmy.world
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            I want nothing more than to sporadically think of this throughout the day today

            Edit: Imagine my equal delight and disappointment to realize we weren’t talking about actual tiny dragon toys

            • PopMyCop@iusearchlinux.fyi
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              Oh. Oh, you poor innocent soul. Sometimes I wish for the days of fancy and wonder to come back to me. You keep thinking the best thoughts!

        • Druid@lemmy.zip
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          Look at Richie Rich over here being able to afford even a single Bad Dragon

          • Midnight Wolf@lemmy.world
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            Black Friday was my gateway, a werewolf boy for cheap. Then, discontinued toys back for a ‘until they’re gone’ surprise sale, and you know I was getting myself a Liger or two. Then when I needed a bag a few years ago, oh look they have that too, oh and condoms and stickers… They have holiday cock lights, too now!

            Once you are a connoisseur, you never leave.

    • bobs_monkey@lemm.ee
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      I wouldn’t exactly put dildos and professionalism in the same category

      • Urethra Franklin@startrek.websiteOP
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        Depends on the profession, I suppose.

        Do dildo testers have a union?

        • Norgur@kbin.social
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          what about dildo producers?
          Dildo designers?
          Dildo community managers?

          • far_university1990@feddit.de
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            bad dragon has merch

          • swab148@startrek.website
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            I need a FOSS dildo manager

            • Jorgelino@lemmy.ml
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              You’ve led me on quite the rabbit hole of sex toy technology, kind stranger. Here are some of my finds:

              • First, a simple bluetooth sex toy app: https://github.com/dreadhonk/ToyControl.git

              • Connecting sex toys to several ero games: https://github.com/Sauceke/LoveMachine.git

              • Connecting sex toys to your VRChat avatar: https://github.com/SutekhVRC/VibeCheck.git

              • Transmitting Morse code via buttplug vibrations (For your chess cheating needs) : https://github.com/RonSijm/ButtFish.git

              And my favorite:

              • Connecting sex toys vibrations to kills in Team Fortress 2: https://github.com/fionafibration/team-frotress-2

              As a bonus, i also learned the term Teledildonics, which is cool.

              • andros_rex@lemmy.world
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                Think about the cybersecurity implications - how many people get cheap shitty sex toys (jelly toys aren’t sanitizable btw 🤢). There’s already a lot of issues with smart lights, fridges, having default root passwords or already shipped compromised… now you can have a botnet inside your butt.

                • fakeman_pretendname@feddit.uk
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                  Buttnet, surely?

              • tauonite@lemmy.world
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                You can’t just talk about teledildonics without mentioning the great buttplug.io. Its creator even has notifications set up for when someone mentions teledildonics on Reddit (maybe not anymore, haha). Many games have support for it through a mod and IIRC one officially released a ‘sex update’ to support buttplug.io. Not a sex game, by the way.

          • rwhitisissle@lemmy.world
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            Don’t forget the programmers! (teledildonics)

        • MudSkipperKisser@lemmy.world
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          Not sure, we’re mostly self employed and really work out at the end of the day

          • dodgy_bagel@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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            I hear it has its ups and downs

            • Shane_McGoomy@lemmy.world
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              Lots of in, lotta outs…

        • bobs_monkey@lemm.ee
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          Be the change you want to see in the world, I believe in you

        • monsterpiece42@reddthat.com
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          No, they are in the business of getting fucked so a union would be a bad fit for them.

        • And009@lemmynsfw.com
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          I wanna test condoms but they probably use dildos

      • Annoyed_🦀 @monyet.cc
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        There’s professional porn actor and prostitute probably.

        • bobs_monkey@lemm.ee
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          Well, shit. Touche.

  • binomialchicken@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    • FauxPseudo @lemmy.world
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      Sam is the best

    • flambonkscious@sh.itjust.works
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      That’s brilliant!!

  • Zacryon@feddit.de
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    What? She likes sex? Such a freak! What a scandal! /i

    • GBU_28@lemm.ee
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      Having sex toys in a professional setting is… Unprofessional.

      • UsernameIsTooLon@lemmy.world
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        Unless the profession is porn lol

      • shameless@lemmy.world
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        deleted by creator

        • bitwaba@lemmy.world
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          The BBC would like to know your location.

      • Trainguyrom@reddthat.com
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        I mean it looks like an office in their home, which is where such an error is completely understandable and forgiveable

        Also, in the right context and to the right person a slightly-comically proportioned phalace can be a very funny and heartfelt gift especially when paired with a good punchline. I have a relative who works for the government, and received a penis-shaped bottle opener as a gift from a colleague in another agency after working a long-term project together with the attached commentary that his team wasn’t the easiest to work with. Knowing the recipient plus how he loves to pull it out and tell the story every chance he gets, it’s probably the best gift that he could’ve gotten.

      • Treczoks@lemmy.world
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        Depends on the profession…

      • Cypher@lemmy.world
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        The oldest profession disagrees

        • GBU_28@lemm.ee
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          Stupid reply. Obviously I’m not referring to that.

          • Cryophilia@lemmy.world
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            Found the German

      • Zacryon@feddit.de
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        Labeling that as unprofessional is kind of arbitrary, which was basically my point.

        Although sex is something as natural, normal and common as eating, sleeping, shitting, having hair and whatever, some religious people a long time ago felt like this was something that needed to be tabooed, which I find stupid, because it has led and still leads to a lot of problems.

        I’m glad that this started to change, but still, having some harmless sex toys on display shouldn’t catch so much attention imo.

      • Treczoks@lemmy.world
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        Depends on the profession…

    • bitwaba@lemmy.world
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      Yeah, I’m sure the calls of ‘neckbeard’ and ‘incel’ would be non-existent if it were a male subject with his fleshlight on full display.

      • GhostFence@lemmy.world
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        Oh they’d be 20 times louder with the hate if it was a dude and a fleshlight.

      • Zacryon@feddit.de
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        Which would be equally stupid.

        Stopping to taboo sex would be advantageous for everyone.

    • hungryphrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      Her liking sex/masturbation isn’t bad. It’s just kinda awkward to accidentally let millions of people see your sex toys.

      • lennybird@lemmy.world
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        It’s only taboo because of conservative evangelism, really. Like the difference in how the US vs Europe perceives sex vs. violence.

        • Buddahriffic@lemmy.world
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          Can I get a “fuck puritans”?

        • Gabu@lemmy.world
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          Nah, I’ll go with “this one is awkward for everyone”. If it were a casual podcast, sure, who gives a shit, but on a serious interview? Weird.

          • lennybird@lemmy.world
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            I just chuckled. That people are focusing in on the background for what is a “serious interview,” that in itself is weird. I’d be focused on the interview, regardless.

      • Zacryon@feddit.de
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        We should continue to normalise that topic such that no one needs to feel like this is awkward.

    • macrocarpa@lemmy.world
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      On a shelf though? Doesn’t dust adhere to rubbery or siliconey stuff? I would have though in a drawer would be more hygienic.

      • SPRUNT@lemmy.world
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        It only collects dust if it sits around for a while. If it’s on the bookshelf, it’s probably not going unused for terribly long. Good for her!

        • PrettyFlyForAFatGuy@lemmy.ml
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          saves time keeping your dildo next to your smut literature

  • xenoclast@lemmy.world
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    Either 100% deliberate or a prank by a mate. Either way. Win.

    • Isthisreddit@lemmy.world
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      Last time this made the rounds, it was said she didn’t know the dildo was there, a friend put it there as a prank. It was also said she deleted all her social media and whatnot afterwards too. I don’t have source and admit I can be totally off

      • xenoclast@lemmy.world
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        Good prank and also saved her friend from the horror of social media…sounds like a win win

  • Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee
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    Girthy little guy, isn’t he?

    • IninewCrow@lemmy.ca
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      At least it wasn’t stereotypically black

      • erictile@lemmy.world
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        It should have been. This is the BBC after all.

      • rwhitisissle@lemmy.world
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        Black goes with everything and hides stains better than lighter colors.

  • arthurpizza@lemmy.world
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    Good for her.

  • MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca
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    … I’m not even upset. That’s impressive. Quite a specimen she has there. Very nice.

    • Encrypt-Keeper@lemmy.world
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      Let’s see Paul Allen’s dildo.

    • Blackmist@feddit.uk
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      It’s a wide unit, I’ll give it that.

      • Dadd Volante@sh.itjust.works
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        Width is more important than length

  • volvoxvsmarla @lemm.ee
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    Genuine question because I have no idea who that is, did she do this on purpose so that people would be fished into watching the video and therefore listening to what she is saying there?

    • thorbot@lemmy.world
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      Definitely. What kind of animal stores a dildo on their bookshelf. You’re supposed to keep it safely tucked inside yourself.

      • assassin_aragorn@lemmy.world
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        At ALL times!

      • Buddahriffic@lemmy.world
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        But what if you have more dildos than you have orifices? If it’s a suction dildo, yes, it belongs stuck to a window, preferably a ground floor front one, but if it’s not suction or you run out of window space and already have a centerpiece for your kitchen table, then a bookshelf is the next most natural place.

        • thorbot@lemmy.world
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          Get more orifices, obviously

          • PopcornPrincess@lemmy.world
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            Seriously. Pst, they clearly didn’t learn anything from Sponge Bob.

    • macrocarpa@lemmy.world
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      She went on the BBC (no pun intended) to talk about her problems finding employment.

      So it’s possible but my spidey sense is she’s doing it for a laugh.

      However normal reminder, don’t put anything in backgrounds that you don’t want screen capped and sent first to your colleagues and subsequently to the world. Aka passwords, pin numbers, phone numbers, notes, org charts, technical artefacts or business sensitive information (including whiteboards)

  • THCDenton@lemmy.world
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    Fuckin coke can of a dong

  • Daft_ish@lemmy.world
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    A dildo, OUTRAGEOUS! Bring the fainting bed!

  • slurpeesoforion@startrek.website
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    Thousands of sensitive alpha males suddenly feel inadequate.

    • Gabu@lemmy.world
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      The fall of men. The mightiest final enemy… Rubber

  • Dracocide@lemm.ee
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    A BWC on BBC.

  • rmuk@feddit.uk
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    I’ve heard people say “the BBC”.

    I’ve heard people say “BBC News”.

    Ive never heard anyone say “the BBC News”.

    …

    and that cock isn’t even black.

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