The band is Status Quo.

Oddly, despite the name, “catgut” tends to be sheep intestines. No cats were harmed.

Some years back, there was a “toad trail” in Hull - one of those things where there’s 100 sculptures installed around the city, each painted by a different artist, school or group.

Anyway, the vowel shift in Hull that turns “smoke” into “smirk” gave us the joyous sentence:

“I’m off into town to go and see all the brightly coloured turds”

Blue cheese is almost entirely creamy-offwhite coloured.

You’re going to need TempleOS to clean all that up.

Well exactly - no manners, that’s what the problem is! Only last week, I saw one of them sat outside a cafe, sucking on a lady’s breast - in the middle of the afternoon! Broad daylight! No manners and no shame. If you want to live in our country, you should follow our rules and customs, that’s what I always say.
/s

Understood. Buying all the Star Wars games.

Not to mention that babies can’t even speak the bloody language properly! Send them back where they came from, I say!
/s

Where can I learn this skill?

Creatively, yes - but physically, no.

The answer to any internet-related question from that era is “because you touch yourself at night”.

She’s just hugging a person, who is (possibly) kissing her on the ear/neck. Her chin rests on the person’s shoulder.

Got you.

Kirrab ass.

Are you pronouncing the “bass” bit like the fish “sea bass” or the instrument “bass guitar”? (e.g. ass or ace)

What the left image shows as two people’s arms, could be interpreted to look like naked bumcheeks/buttcheeks when the image is upside down.

I love that Miez is beginning to understand that the jigsaw noise means “new things for me” :)

NTFS was around in the 1990s, exFAT is from the 2010s - and I think was also caught up in some sort of copyright/proprietary shit for another 10 years. There are brand new 2025 TVs which still won’t read exFAT.

I’m mostly echoing what’s already been said, but I have a preset in Handbrake for this, which works fine on most TVs I’ve tried from the last 10 years (possibly 15 by now) and therefore should have no problem running on any computer. I often (for work reasons) prepare video footage for looped playback on TVs and projectors at numerous places - so “TVs I’ve tried” is a larger number than it might initially sound like.

It’s roughly along these lines (as I appear to have emailed someone about before):

"H264 mp4. 1920x1080. 25 or 30fps, or similar (appropriate to source material). Constant bitrate <=12mbps. 8mbps is generally universally compatible, though you should be able to get away with 10-12mbps on newer TVs with newer USB sticks.

AAC audio 192kbps, though lower is fine.

Use same samplerate as source (i.e. 44khz 48khz etc)

If you’ve got settings for encoding profile, Main and Level 4.0 should work.

If individual files are small enough (<4GB), format the USB stick as FAT32. Otherwise NTFS. EXT2 will work on a lot of TVs, but you’ll have trouble with some computers. Exfat may work on newest tellys, but won’t on anything more than a few years old, so safe option is not to use it."

I do appreciate that the listed recipe is “relatively quick and simple”, but I’m not convinced by “literally the same effort”.

If it was, then why would anyone buy the millions of frozen/boxed/packeted “just put it in the oven for 30 minutes” or “just put it in the microwave for 2 minutes” meals? They’re not buying them for the high-quality taste, surely?

Massively cheaper and almost certainly better for you, yes - but arguably not as low effort as “beep beep beep, ping”.