Listen, man. I like to abuse my weiner as much as the next guy, but this is just excessive.
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I’m picturing the ketchup smeared all over his face while reading this.
Jesus, I wouldn’t even do this to a terrorist hotdog at a blacksite. Even I have limits.
Put this in the dictionary alongside the definition of Wrong.
What is the charge? Eating a meal? A succulent Viennese meal?
1-Great reference, thank you
2-The charge is taking a bite out of the middle like a fucking psychopath
Oh yeah, I forgot that doing that was “antisocial behavior”.
THIS IS DEMOCRACY MANIFEST
Get your hand off my wiener!
No, it’s a Costco hot dog.
He watched you bite the dog, and knew it was time.
You got off easy, sicko.
This is a severe underreaction. OP should be locked up safely away from society.
Isn’t that why they’re on Lemmy?
If you can’t throat an entire Costco hot dog wiener in one bite you don’t deserve to eat it.
I had an ex that could/would have done that, on cue, anytime. Their skill was unmatched, their dedication unwavering, their gag reflex nonexistent.
I miss them.
You dated the fastest hot dog shooter in the northwest? Omg
You would, you would.
How you ate that hotdog is an affront to all mankind.
For all of my fellow Chicagoans who, like me, are seeing this with no warning or preparation, I can share support resources, and I’m here if you just need to talk about it.
Edit: for those in need of assistance.
It’s fine, that’s just blood from their nose because of the head rush from slurping the entire garden up with that courageous bite. Do not correct me, this belief is going to get me through the rest of the day
One Christmas I asked for the neon green relish for Christmas. My cool bil (who ran a hot dog stand) sent me a big assjar. Hell yeah.
You’ve got it. The more it looks like it would glow in the dark the better.
Wait does Chicago Costco use Vienna beef??
I doubt it. Vienna beef is just The Dog in a Chicago Dog for the most part.
Hey, I’m here for you, too. We’re all here for you.
Well, I’m here for you as long as you don’t put a drop of fucking ketchup on that dog.
Ketchup is great on hotdogs, FIGHT ME MALORT BEING!
In the Holy name of Da Bears, I swear on The Bean I will deliver smack down so hard, your grandchildren will taste celery salt and pickles! I’ll waterboard you in Old Style until you see reason, ya cheesehead!
Ketchup and English mustard is great. Just don’t apply the mustard like an America.
The weirdest thing here is them calling the Costco cashier a “line cook”
They expectedly don’t serve to barbarians.
whatever happened to that hotdog is not right.
That’s why he’s cut off. It’s his first one.
Obligatory wkuk sketch
I love that it starts with 0-2 hotdogs and then escalates to 7 by lunchtime.
“Is that bad?”
“Well, it’s not good.”
Doctor: Uh So, Timmy, I got your bloodwork in, and I have a couple of questions.
Timmy: Okay.
Doctor: Just about how many hot dogs do you eat a day?
Timmy: How many hot dogs?
Doctor: Yeah.
Timmy: Geez. I don’t know. I mean, you know, some days I could eat a couple and some days I don’t eat any.
Doctor: Okay. Let’s just say for an average. Take your whole week and try to figure out what your daily amount would be.
Timmy: I have no idea.
Doctor: Just try.
Timmy: Okay. A whole week average per day would be something like, I don’t know, seven.
Doctor: Seven hot dogs?
Timmy: Seven, yeah.
Doctor: A day?
Timmy: ls that high?
Doctor: It’s a little high.
Timmy: ls that bad?
Doctor: Well It’s not good.
Timmy: I mean, l’m just ball-parking here, you know?
Doctor: Sure, sure. Timmy, I wanna try something if you don’t mind. Walk me through one of your days.
Timmy: Walk you through my day?
Doctor: Yeah, just take me through a day in a life of Timmy.
Timmy: Okay. Well I wake up, and I take a shower. And, you know, get ready for work. I go downstairs and I have a bagel and something for breakfast.
Doctor: And something?
Timmy: A hot dog.
Doctor: Hot dog. Okay.
Timmy: I mean, I do usually eat a hot dog there.
Doctor: Okay.
Timmy: Then I take the train to work.
Doctor: Slow down. Slow down. Does anything happen on the way to work?
Timmy: Oh. Ha ha. I almost forgot. On the way to the subway there is a hotdog stand, so I usually have one or two, yeah.
Doctor: Two hot dogs.
Timmy: Yeah. I usually have two hotdogs before work.
Doctor: So that’s three hot dogs before work.
Timmy: Right, yeah. If you’re gonna count the one at home. I mean, this is all just breakfast, you know?
Doctor: No, I understand. I get it.
Timmy: Then I just go through my whole day at work.
Doctor: Okay.Hold up. Walk me through your workday. What happens at lunch?
Timmy: Oh, lunch, well I mean, some days I’ll just blow through lunch because of how busy I am and all.
Doctor: Really?
Timmy: Well l’m pretty sure I did that once.
Doctor: Okay. Well, on the days that you’re not ‘‘blowing through lunch’’ what do you have?
Timmy: Well, on those days sometimes it could just be a salad.
Doctor: Could it?
Timmy: Yeah. But it’s usually–
Doctor: It’s usually hot dogs?
Timmy: Yeah, it’s usually hot dogs.
Doctor: How many hot dogs?
Timmy: I don’t know. Anywhere between one and four.
Doctor: Four hot dogs.
Timmy: Yeah, that’s probably safe.
Doctor: Well, I hope there’s no more hot dogs in the day 'cause we’re up to seven now.
Timmy: Yeah, on second thought, that number might be a little low.
My friend how long did you spend on this
Not long. I found the script online. It was a little jumbled and missing the character names. I just added those and cleaned it up a bit.
Fair enough
This is absolute gold thank you so much.
I think this is how doctors expect me to answer auestions about alcohol and smoking. Ive smoked kne cigarette ever, and a single beer gets me drunk for the night, about once a week. Doctors hear that and think im having 3 hot dogs before i get to work
Idk, that card looks like some AI which makes this whole post slop to me.
What difference would it make to the shitpost if it was an AI edited card in the picture, gimp edited, or someone printed out the card themselves? Or even they used AI to make the card and then printed it out and took the picture.
Why would one be slop and not the other?
AI ads the stench of stolen work to the mix.
All of the difference.
I don’t understand
This is a joke. That card is something bartenders give people who are drunk in some bars. Someone edited one to say Costco and photoshopped it onto a picture from a food court
So he ate too many? Or he ate from the middle?
Middle
As someone who has worked in bars, that’s one sure fire way to piss off someone in a drunk state. You need to bring it with conviction and without making things confrontational.
Hiding behind a formality is probably the worst idea.
Well yeah, I didn’t say it’s a good idea. And as of covid days, practically every interaction type you can think up will piss someone off to an irrational, performative and base instinct level that makes some wonder if humanity had a good run but it’s all downhill from here.
You can’t abuse the loss leader.
Surprised Lidl didn’t put up a picture of me and a notice “do not allow to buy veg” when they were selling packs of veg for a few pennies before Christmas last year. Several other shops did the same but I bought most from Lidl.
Pickled it in bulk (think branston pickle kinda thing) and still got several 0.5-1L jars of it left. Also ate a lot fresh, some cooked into stews and frozen. 10s of kg in total.
I live by the sea. Almost tempting to try out seawater pickling if they do it again. That is cheaper than vinegar. Use some 25L brewing buckets?
Look at how they started eating the hot dog.
