Just wait til she shits on your lawn though

    • SavinDWhales@lemmy.world
      9·
      5 hours ago

      I just do the things to her that I do to my dog…

      Sooo… You’re doing it… doggystyle? 👉🏼👈🏼

  • gigastasio@sh.itjust.works
    84·
    10 hours ago

    Who’s a good girl!!! Yeah you! You’re the goodest girl! Yes you are!!!

    OP scratches gf behind her ears, puts her outside, fucks the dog.

  • yermaw@sh.itjust.works
    38·
    10 hours ago

    I would unironically love it if my wife would bust out a chocolate telling me “whos a good boy?”.

    I will wash the dishes for that.

      • vrek@programming.devEnglish
        2·
        3 hours ago

        Years ago I was a young white guy with long hair and a short ish beard. Someone at my job decided I looked like shaggy from scooby doo. The name kinda stuck and became my nickname.

        Few months later, I was at work and one of the guys came over and asked for some favor. I forget what it was but it wasn’t like a 30 second thing, it was like a multi hour task. I denied the request and made some excuse. He then reached behind his back and pulled out a box of scooby snacks. They were like small graham crackers in the shape of a dog head like scooby. “Would you do it for a scooby snack?” Everyone around started laughing, even I started laughing.

        I didn’t end up doing it and the task was just made up for the joke. It was pretty funny though. He said he saw them over the weekend when grocery shopping for his family and thought the joke was too good.

        Side note, they still make scooby snacks and the kid I’m basically raising actually really likes them.

    • untorquer@quokk.auEnglish
      32·
      10 hours ago

      It’s just healthy adaptation. They care for their partner so they found a way to meet their partner’s needs that isn’t overly burdensome.

      • Jax@sh.itjust.works
        3·
        4 hours ago

        I just do the things to her that I do to my dog, because I love my dog more.

        Ah, I see — we’re calling this healthy now.

        • Horsecook@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
          21·
          4 hours ago

          You assume that’s an accurate conclusion.

          They were likely taught to display affection towards animals, as a child, without similar instruction regarding people, and are now reasoning backwards from these learned behaviors.

          “I display more affection towards my dog, therefore I must like my dog more.” rather than “I like my dog more, therefore I display more affection towards it.”

          • Jax@sh.itjust.works
            1·
            36 minutes ago

            I literally quoted their TL;DR.

            What you’re trying to suggest is essentially saying ‘Yeah it’s totally fine to think you love your dog more than you love your girlfriend, it’s 100% healthy to treat your human girlfriend like you would an animal’.

            Dude, what the fuck, I know Trump is president but let’s not speedrun our way back to the 40’s that quickly. This is either fake or the definition of unhealthy.

    • SillyDude@lemmy.zip
      7·
      9 hours ago

      This is the week that Lemmy shitposting died. Now its just horny on main and tumblr reposts.

    • Soleos@lemmy.world
      31·
      9 hours ago

      It’s sad only because the tone is dismissive/condescending. Otherwise it’s just describing someone who figured out how their gf likes to receive affection. My head canon says they’ve only been dating for a couple months and they’ve had their dog for years.