Do people really use the picture on the box to lay puzzles? That sounds boring.

Dont borrow a shit ton of money till you got a career going you like.

Save some money. Doesnt have to be a ton but just a few dollars per week will be better than 0

Dont lend money to friends (if you do, dont expect to get them back)

Life gets better

I was struggling too when i was around 20.

Life is awesome now years later

Don’t necessarily do what everyone expects of you. Do what you need and want.

For that, you really need to know yourself. What makes you happy? Who do you want to be?

You will make mistakes along the way and the answers to those questions will be harder than it seema at first and also change over time. You might think you know yourself but that might change too.

Do what you think is right and wing it like everyone else.

Feel free to ask if you want some more detailed advice.

You’re probably not struggling as much as you think you are. Not in a “your problems aren’t that bad” kinda way but more in a "your responses to those problems aren’t as pitiful as you think they are. Just because the problem wasn’t 100% fixed doesn’t mean you didn’t deal with it like a boss. It’s not like everybody else is out there dancing through their problems with the grace of a ballerina. 90% of them have the fridge door open at 2am eating shredded cheese right out of the bag too. You’re doing great, don’t be so down on yourself.

Become a content-creator

The picture is that all plans fall apart. You’re gonna mostly just have options, some you seek out and you may plan them or you may just go for them, but others will present themselves to you and you either will have the opportunity to opt in or to opt out. Nearly every path of life is like that, even shit like being drafted comes with opportunities to radically change your life in a different way. But sometimes, more than you may suspect, none of the paths are to keeping things the same.

I see two extremes that a lot of folks think they have to choose between. You’ve got planners, they get an idea in their head and they go and get it, it’s the folks who had a life plan by 18. They’re often inflexible and they rarely see the unexpected opportunity paths that they find. They also often struggle with realizing what’s wrong when they’re unhappy. They don’t make big, bold choices, their big goals are meticulous. I’ve found many are unhappy because their plans rarely grow with them.

Then you’ve got folks who live by the seat of their pants. If they go to college it’s because it’s what you do, and their major was what seemed interesting. While the planners are trapped by their roots dug too deep, these people have none. I’m reminded of a friend who was divorcing her fourth husband, was in her late 30s, and casually mentioned that she kinda expected to have kids someday. She’d had a fascinating and wild life, but no career, no stability, and she didn’t seem to get that some opportunities may have passed her by when she wasn’t looking. These people miss out on a lot too, always chasing the most interesting or easy or fun or even just comfortable path to present itself. Many just fall into a stable rut because they aren’t making long term plans and are instead getting high and playing video games all day not noticing their childhood friends were building careers and marriages while they did that.

My advice is to take the middle path. A life of prudence, self reflection, and willingness to pursue goals as long as they serve you, and to look for and analyze unexpected opportunities, especially when things go wrong. Meeting my wife was a fortunate accident when we were both dealing with breakups. Years later we’d leave the home state we’d long wanted to, to somewhere I’d always been interested in, because of hostile legislation in our home, and we love it here now. A new skill, a new friend, a new interest, or a new career can always be around the corner. But also if you’re unhappy or lacking something, go looking for something new.

I also will add, you are the only person you’re truly stuck with in life, fortunately you’re also the only person whose actions you can fully control. Be someone you would respect snd want to be around. You’ll find a lot more happiness and opportunities if you just keep trying to be the sort of person you’d want there to be in any given situation.

Lot of good advice here on how to make good decisions and strategic choices to make a better life for yourself.

But, I’m here to give a different perspective. I’m going to retire soon and I’ve never had a sensible career plan in my life that lasted. I’ve bounced from opportunity to opportunity like a piece of driftwood in the surf. I’ve made my career choices based on what seemed like a good idea at the time. I’ve been a company director, I’ve been broke and (fortunately only technically) homeless and everywhere in between. I’ve had stressful jobs and easy-going jobs. All of which is to say that plans are good but sometimes winging it can work out too.

The other thing I will say is that while I’ve worked some shit jobs and some great jobs, I’ve always done a good job regardless. I’ve treated bosses, colleagues, and subordinates fairly and honestly. So those opportunities I mentioned a paragraph ago, they came because people I’ve worked with were happy to work with me again.

Look for this book, they probably have it at your local library.

“Discover What You Are Best At” by Linda Gail.

I was almost 30, out of work with an injury, when I learned about it. It’s a series of self tests you can finish in half a day, and an index of jobs that use those skills. For example, a paramedic and a hair dresser both need good dexterity and good people skills. Totally different jobs but a similar skill set. Jobs are divided up by training needed.

It pointed me at a job I’d never considered.

If nothing else, it’ll give you some ideas to ponder.

You really don’t know what the future holds, so don’t get bogged down planning too far ahead. Set yourself some achievable goals for the near future. It’s ok to have some vague plans for the distant future, but keep in mind that there is a good chance that your future could look very different than what you imagine it might be.

There is no picture on the box. The pieces are blank… So draw an image on the box…

Visualize it and make at least one step in that direction each and every day. The pieces will then take on that image. Give that picture time to form.

Ask yourself, what does YOUR life want to be? Creative? Inventive? Adventurous? Domestic? Entreprenurial?

NGL, you don’t really hit it as to what you want and who you are until you’re 27 or so, then you’ll find that by 35 you’ll be stepping into your full potential. (It’s Peak Skills time.)

Sort that first… WHO you are. What you want, what you’ll tolerate and more importantly, what you will NOT put up with, no fucking way fuckyouvery much… (this is absolutely critical for mental and emotional well being)

Then give yourself time and be aware that tastes change as we get older, so be prepared to roll with a change if it comes to you.

Don’t hang on a sunk cost - regardless if you spent a decade going in one direction and then you find that you’ve pivoted to another…

The effort you put in going in that first direction is experience that will only give you a base on which to move from…

There’s a reason we have the phrase “well rounded” to refer to those with a wide range of skills, confidence and experience.

Everything is a benefit - whether it is a skill or just personal confidence.

Being a young adult, frankly, is a ball of suck.

My own life from 17 to 27 was a struggle with loneliness, self-doubt, financial hardship, and a ton of hard, ugly lessons.

It was ALSO a time of incredible fun, moments of pure joy and fierce companionship. And in all of that I learned a lot of confidence and fortitude. You will as well.

At 61 I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up, but I know what and who I am and have managed to find a niche that I fit into and expanded it into a profession.

Do I make the most money I could? Oh hell no… However, I’ve got a super community of people around me - friends, family and co-workers and we all get along and care for and about each other and that is what I have found matters - in the long run - the most.

Network the hell out of your life with people you admire and whose work you respect. The rest, in time, falls into place.

I don’t know how to explain it in terms that don’t come off sounding drippy and trite to some…

You’ve got more potential than you realize. Focus on finding the things that bring you the most joy once you’ve sorted who you are and explore them to their fullest and see what comes from that. There’s really no hard and fast rule, other than be flexible and open to change.

And NEVER hesitate to cut toxic people from your life. (speed dial that MF’er)

You got this.

I haven’t seen this mentioned yet so:

Do not allow yourself to be persuaded, pressured, or bullied into having kids (including by yourself) until you feel 100% ready and that it’s 100% what you want. The days of “nobody feels ready for kids; just go for it and it’ll all work out” are way over. (This was always survivor bias bullshit advice, but with recent trends re: cost of living, housing availability, job market, etc., this attitude is straight-up reckless.)

When you’re young, even if you think you know what you’re doing, you’ll almost certainly make mistakes; having children makes moving through and moving on from those mistakes a hell of a lot harder. A sad number of folks I know in their 30s are stuck in places they no longer want to live having to regularly interact with people who ruined their lives because of their kids. Even when things go well, kids are a huge drain on your energy, finances, and ability to take advantage of new opportunities.

It might be scary feeling like there are too many options available to you right now, but being forced into a certain life path because you have kids is not a fun way to resolve that.

It’s going to get worse before it gets better.

It’s not your fault. Your ancestors and your peers sold you out.

Have 2 sets of goals, one set is measurable and achievable near term, this can be as simple as going to bed on time or doing one proper pushup or saving $5 this week. The other set of goals are for your dreams or ambitions, have something in mind worth fighting for, they don’t have a set timeline and you may not ever reach them but if you do you’ve accomplished your life goals or set up the future so someone else can get there. The important part is to have the goals and start to figure our what steps you need to get there.
Don’t feel guilty about just enjoying life, if you enjoy getting your guilty pleasure just drop the guilt part, that’s not to say go ahead and spiral out of control but you are allowed to enjoy things that are within your reach.
People will offer to help you with stuff. fucking let them help you, people like to feel needed and feel better when they get to help you, stop feeling guilty about accepting help. you are letting them help so that they feel good about themselves and you might accidentally form bonds with other humans.
It is ok to be bored, healthy even. Do absolutely nothing once in a while, no music, no phone, no background noise. Just let your mind wander and decompress. I use my evening commute for this, except on science friday, imma learn about some shit on fridays, like how it is ok to be bored sometimes.

As an adult, all I can say is we don’t know what we’re doing either. And that’s okay.

Everyone I know is struggling in life. It seems almost impossible to get anything good going. Take things one step at a time and try to find a good strategy for managing upkeep on whatever needs it. Focus on improving a single thing you can do in the short term. Outside of that, I’d strongly recommend getting a union job if you don’t have employment figured out yet. A stable income with good job security is much easier to plan around even if it seems like it isn’t enough money.