The picture is that all plans fall apart. You’re gonna mostly just have options, some you seek out and you may plan them or you may just go for them, but others will present themselves to you and you either will have the opportunity to opt in or to opt out. Nearly every path of life is like that, even shit like being drafted comes with opportunities to radically change your life in a different way. But sometimes, more than you may suspect, none of the paths are to keeping things the same.
I see two extremes that a lot of folks think they have to choose between. You’ve got planners, they get an idea in their head and they go and get it, it’s the folks who had a life plan by 18. They’re often inflexible and they rarely see the unexpected opportunity paths that they find. They also often struggle with realizing what’s wrong when they’re unhappy. They don’t make big, bold choices, their big goals are meticulous. I’ve found many are unhappy because their plans rarely grow with them.
Then you’ve got folks who live by the seat of their pants. If they go to college it’s because it’s what you do, and their major was what seemed interesting. While the planners are trapped by their roots dug too deep, these people have none. I’m reminded of a friend who was divorcing her fourth husband, was in her late 30s, and casually mentioned that she kinda expected to have kids someday. She’d had a fascinating and wild life, but no career, no stability, and she didn’t seem to get that some opportunities may have passed her by when she wasn’t looking. These people miss out on a lot too, always chasing the most interesting or easy or fun or even just comfortable path to present itself. Many just fall into a stable rut because they aren’t making long term plans and are instead getting high and playing video games all day not noticing their childhood friends were building careers and marriages while they did that.
My advice is to take the middle path. A life of prudence, self reflection, and willingness to pursue goals as long as they serve you, and to look for and analyze unexpected opportunities, especially when things go wrong. Meeting my wife was a fortunate accident when we were both dealing with breakups. Years later we’d leave the home state we’d long wanted to, to somewhere I’d always been interested in, because of hostile legislation in our home, and we love it here now. A new skill, a new friend, a new interest, or a new career can always be around the corner. But also if you’re unhappy or lacking something, go looking for something new.
I also will add, you are the only person you’re truly stuck with in life, fortunately you’re also the only person whose actions you can fully control. Be someone you would respect snd want to be around. You’ll find a lot more happiness and opportunities if you just keep trying to be the sort of person you’d want there to be in any given situation.
The picture is that all plans fall apart. You’re gonna mostly just have options, some you seek out and you may plan them or you may just go for them, but others will present themselves to you and you either will have the opportunity to opt in or to opt out. Nearly every path of life is like that, even shit like being drafted comes with opportunities to radically change your life in a different way. But sometimes, more than you may suspect, none of the paths are to keeping things the same.
I see two extremes that a lot of folks think they have to choose between. You’ve got planners, they get an idea in their head and they go and get it, it’s the folks who had a life plan by 18. They’re often inflexible and they rarely see the unexpected opportunity paths that they find. They also often struggle with realizing what’s wrong when they’re unhappy. They don’t make big, bold choices, their big goals are meticulous. I’ve found many are unhappy because their plans rarely grow with them.
Then you’ve got folks who live by the seat of their pants. If they go to college it’s because it’s what you do, and their major was what seemed interesting. While the planners are trapped by their roots dug too deep, these people have none. I’m reminded of a friend who was divorcing her fourth husband, was in her late 30s, and casually mentioned that she kinda expected to have kids someday. She’d had a fascinating and wild life, but no career, no stability, and she didn’t seem to get that some opportunities may have passed her by when she wasn’t looking. These people miss out on a lot too, always chasing the most interesting or easy or fun or even just comfortable path to present itself. Many just fall into a stable rut because they aren’t making long term plans and are instead getting high and playing video games all day not noticing their childhood friends were building careers and marriages while they did that.
My advice is to take the middle path. A life of prudence, self reflection, and willingness to pursue goals as long as they serve you, and to look for and analyze unexpected opportunities, especially when things go wrong. Meeting my wife was a fortunate accident when we were both dealing with breakups. Years later we’d leave the home state we’d long wanted to, to somewhere I’d always been interested in, because of hostile legislation in our home, and we love it here now. A new skill, a new friend, a new interest, or a new career can always be around the corner. But also if you’re unhappy or lacking something, go looking for something new.
I also will add, you are the only person you’re truly stuck with in life, fortunately you’re also the only person whose actions you can fully control. Be someone you would respect snd want to be around. You’ll find a lot more happiness and opportunities if you just keep trying to be the sort of person you’d want there to be in any given situation.