ubergeek77's Lemmy
  • Communities
  • Create Post
  • Create Community
  • heart
    Support Lemmy
  • search
    Search
  • Login
  • Sign Up
Mickey7@lemmy.world to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 2 个月前

I am always prepared to move into this version of life

lemmy.world

external-link
message-square
41
fedilink
163
external-link

I am always prepared to move into this version of life

lemmy.world

Mickey7@lemmy.world to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 2 个月前
message-square
41
fedilink
alert-triangle
You must log in or # to comment.
  • vateso5074@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    55
    ·
    edit-2
    4 天前

    deleted by creator

    • Passerby6497@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      16
      ·
      2 个月前

      Taking a break from your game for a quick wank, like a man of class.

      • gnutrino@programming.dev
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        14
        ·
        2 个月前

        Who said anything about taking a break? I’ve got 2 monitors and 2 hands.

        • Passerby6497@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          8
          ·
          2 个月前

          I said ‘quick wank’ not ‘goon sesh’

    • Anissem@lemmy.ml
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      9
      ·
      2 个月前

      Fixed it for you

  • hOrni@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    34
    ·
    2 个月前

    I have no wife and no job, so that’s pretty much every day for me.

  • Son_of_Macha@lemmy.cafe
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    20
    arrow-down
    3
    ·
    2 个月前

    Lotion. Ick. Stop cutting your dick skin off you crazy puritanical people.

    • DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      4
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      2 个月前

      This dude thinks it’s better dry

    • Mickey7@lemmy.worldOP
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      4
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      2 个月前

      Why would you not use lotion and risk chafing your cock?

      • King_Bob_IV@startrek.website
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        7
        arrow-down
        1
        ·
        2 个月前

        Because actual lube works better?

      • Son_of_Macha@lemmy.cafe
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        2
        ·
        25 天前

        Sounds like you don’t have foreskin

  • cattywampas@midwest.social
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    13
    ·
    2 个月前

    Me, except no porn so I’m ravenous for that pussy when she gets back.

    • Mickey7@lemmy.worldOP
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      8
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      2 个月前

      Yeah but what’s you maximum of days to let that load build up before you really need to drain it off

      • [email protected]@lemmy.federate.cc
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        4
        ·
        2 个月前

        That’s enough internet for me today

  • aeronmelon@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    13
    ·
    2 个月前

    Just replace everything with a bed.

  • glorkon@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    12
    ·
    2 个月前

    Same here, except I also use the opportunity to cook stuff for myself that my wife doesn’t like. Fuck pizza.

    • chatokun@lemmy.dbzer0.com
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      8
      ·
      2 个月前

      Not a romantic partner (obviously) but currently my sister and I are roommates, and when she’s out of town or staying at her boyfriend’s place I make the meals she isn’t really interested in, like Moqueca.

      • glorkon@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        2
        ·
        2 个月前

        I never heard of Moqueca and googled it, and it does look very delicious!

    • boonhet@sopuli.xyz
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      3
      ·
      2 个月前

      Yeah, like anything containing onions, garlic, bell peppers or other ingredients with too much flavour.

      I decided she can be not home permanently. I hope your situation is better lol

      • EndlessNightmare@reddthat.com
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        6
        ·
        2 个月前

        If I couldn’t use onions or garlic, that would be a dealbreaker

        • boonhet@sopuli.xyz
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          1
          ·
          2 个月前

          Having to eat bland foods for the rest of my life was an insignificant factor in the decision to free myself from servitude, but it was still a factor.

      • glorkon@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        3
        ·
        edit-2
        2 个月前

        I like a good steak. However, my wife does not prefer it medium rare - she belongs to those heretics who would shamelessly order it well done (that’s why I never go to steakhouses with her). She also hates spicy food. Or some kinds of traditional German food which I grew up with.

        So yeah. Whenever she’s away, it’s usually steak, some spicy Asian dish or Berlin style grilled liver.

        • boonhet@sopuli.xyz
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          2
          ·
          2 个月前

          Ah, doesn’t sound TOO bad. I was legitimately prohibited from using any vegetables in my sauces. Sauce had to be just the meat, cream, melted cheese to thicken it up and it had to be a store-bought mix for flavor. Like those Maggi ones, 4 cheese mix, carbonara mix, etc. No experimenting. Even tomatoes were a no-go.

          Needless to say, I let her do the cooking because I found it depressing. When she was away, I’d make a nice curry or chilli… Or, like you, a steak, which I prefer medium rare (though sometimes rare is nice too).

          • glorkon@lemmy.world
            link
            fedilink
            arrow-up
            2
            ·
            edit-2
            2 个月前

            Wow, okay. At least I got my wife to appreciate a decent sauce, and I got her off the store-bought sauce mixes.

            It’s been many years but I still remember which recipe did the trick: Salisbury steak.

            Make steak patties using ground beef, Worcestershire sauce, mustard, pepper, breadcrumbs. Fry until brown. Set aside. In the same pan, sauté 250g mushrooms and a chopped onion until brown, add tomato paste, add some flour, add 500ml beef stock and a pinch of sugar (ketchup works well too). Salt, pepper, Worcestershire sauce to taste. Add steaks to sauce. Cook until steaks done.

            She loves this and it kinda cured her from buying Maggi crap, lol.

            • boonhet@sopuli.xyz
              link
              fedilink
              arrow-up
              2
              ·
              2 个月前

              Oh yeah, Salisbury steak is a killer recipe. Love it.

              I actually went straight to the ingredients list without reading the rest of your comment and went “hey that sounds like Salisbury steak” lol

        • ඞmir@lemmy.ml
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          1
          ·
          2 个月前

          Well done steak can be amazing when marinated and slowly baked with fat being addrd in the process.

    • 0ops@piefed.zip
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      1
      ·
      2 个月前

      I’d also fuck pizza

  • Tomtits@lemmy.dbzer0.com
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    12
    ·
    2 个月前

    Where’s the goon cave?

  • kubica@fedia.io
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    11
    ·
    2 个月前

    I don’t have white or black nintendos.

  • realitista@lemmus.org
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    10
    ·
    2 个月前

    Only 26? Amateur.

    • gon [he]@lemmy.dbzer0.com
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      6
      ·
      2 个月前

      ?! And you’re a pro?! A professional gooner?!

      • realitista@lemmus.org
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        5
        ·
        2 个月前

        More than this yokel that’s for sure.

  • Macaroni_ninja@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    9
    ·
    2 个月前

    You are not allowed to wear shorts or eat pizza while she is home?

    • Tollana1234567@lemmy.today
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      10
      ·
      2 个月前

      the shorts are for the pornhub.

      • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 🇮 @pawb.social
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        3
        ·
        2 个月前

        The pizza is for the hotel hallway. 😉

  • MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    9
    ·
    2 个月前

  • ssillyssadass@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    7
    arrow-down
    1
    ·
    2 个月前

    This feels like a prime 2018 meme

  • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 🇮 @pawb.social
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    7
    arrow-down
    2
    ·
    2 个月前

    Ewww…

    Xbox?

    • baguettefish@discuss.tchncs.de
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      3
      ·
      2 个月前

      as funny as this comment is, do console wars really need to exist? does brand loyalty and basing your identity on the products you consume need to exist?

      • luciferofastora@feddit.org
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        1
        ·
        2 个月前

        No, they don’t.

        Microsoft wars on the other hand…


        That is also a joke. Don’t base your identity on brands, technologies or corporations; not even on hating them. Base it on values and moral convictions, then judge the rest by them.

    • EndlessNightmare@reddthat.com
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      2
      arrow-down
      2
      ·
      2 个月前

      PC or GTFO!

  • RaivoKulli@sopuli.xyz
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    2
    ·
    2 个月前

    Pretty much lol

Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world

lemmyshitpost@lemmy.world

Subscribe from Remote Instance

Create a post
You are not logged in. However you can subscribe from another Fediverse account, for example Lemmy or Mastodon. To do this, paste the following into the search field of your instance: [email protected]

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful

Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

…


2. No Illegal Content

Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

…


3. No Spam

Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

…


4. No Porn/Explicit

Content


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

…


5. No Enciting Harassment,

Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

…


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

…

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

Visibility: Public
globe

This community can be federated to other instances and be posted/commented in by their users.

  • 4.57K users / day
  • 9.14K users / week
  • 15K users / month
  • 28.9K users / 6 months
  • 1 local subscriber
  • 36.2K subscribers
  • 22.3K Posts
  • 516K Comments
  • Modlog
  • mods:
  • Aer@lemmy.world
  • Striker@lemmy.world
  • WiildFiire@lemmy.world
  • Decoy321@lemmy.world
  • The Picard Maneuver@startrek.website
  • Flying Squid@lemmy.world
  • The Picard Maneuver@lemmy.world
  • BE: 0.19.7
  • Modlog
  • Instances
  • Docs
  • Code
  • join-lemmy.org