• jballs@sh.itjust.works
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        2 months ago

        I watched this with my kids the other day just to share some of my childhood memories with them.

        I sure was surprised to learn the plot of the movie was that some bad guys had developed a new type of bullet and needed to test it out on the thick skulls of live animals. They try to kidnap Beethoven so that they can shoot him in the head. In order to accomplish this, they abuse the dog until it attacks one of them and then cover themselves in fake blood so the family is forced to agree to have the dog put down.

        Somehow childhood me had blocked all of this out and just remembered “haha funny big dog”.

        • cm0002@lemmy.world
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          2 months ago

          What in the fuck‽ It’s true

          https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beethoven_(film)

          However, Dr. Varnick seeks large-skulled dogs such as St. Bernards for an ammunition test.

          Under the guise of doing a follow-up exam on Beethoven, Varnick visits the Newton home. After applying fake blood onto his arm and Beethoven, Varnick provokes Beethoven into a fight and convinces George that the dog attacked him, but Emily protests that the attack was fake. Varnick warns George that Beethoven may be turning aggressive and must be put to sleep, or he will have no choice but to press charges.

          But also, what dumb fucks, if they really wanted to test fancy ammo they could use bears or similar. Fuckers have some THICC skulls

        • tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip
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          2 months ago

          How about the part in the 2nd one where the dog destroys part of a cabin thereby preventing a teenage girl from being sexually assaulted. PG movies in the 80s and 90s were something

          • jballs@sh.itjust.works
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            2 months ago

            Same! There’s a lot of stuff from my childhood that I remember being awesome, then going back to revisit it and being horrified. Like, I vaguely remembered the movie Gremlins being cute and funny when I was a kid. But reading the plot now makes me wonder how I survived childhood without PTSD.

        • kameecoding@lemmy.world
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          2 months ago

          I remember the fake blood, but wasn’t the movie about them wanting to breed the dogs with their female dog and selling the little ones for lots of money?

  • UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    knock at the door

    Me, excitedly answering

    “It’s us! The four most famous renaissance era artists!”

    Me, crying and running into my room.

  • ProfessorProteus@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    If “A Major” in the title was intentional, then bravo!

    Honestly I’d be exited to be able to meet the composer anyway, and maybe give him a pat on the head.