Nope, I have lots of friends who have best friends of both genders outside of their partners. If anything, it’s good to have these relationships since you’re not putting everything (and all of your needs) just on your partner. It’s good to be able to spread our relationships and needs around a bit. If anything, if you’re boyfriend was insecure about it, then that’d be an insecurity on his side. It’s healthy to have friendships. It’s not like you two are flirting or getting any romantic or sexual energy from each other (it isn’t always from sex). I give two thumbs up for friends!

1. It is ok to have best friends of either genders.
2. What your boyfriend is describing is very common. Cheating is very common.

I have beautiful and nice female coworkers, my wife have beautiful and nice male clients. We both spend a lot of time with those people. The possibility of getting in love is high. That is we talk about some facts:

1. People do fall in love. Even people in happy relationships fall in love with other people. This is common. (Early stages of falling in love happened to me and to my wife before)
2. Relationships have its ups and downs.
3. The more time you spend with someone (friends, coworkers, neighbors,…) the more likely is to develop feelings for that person. Those feelings might be temporary. Those feeling can only happen in one of the friends.

So it is not hard to see how having a low point in a relationship might lead to growing romantic feelings to our close friends.

My parents were best friends. While neither were in a relationship at the time, my father developed feelings for my mom. Just recently my mom got aware that my father has been hiding his feeling for a year before he made a move. He did not want to destroy the relationship they had. He waited until he was sure the feeling became mutual.

This story describes nothing wrong. Just a way how people grow together and how beautiful relationships are often born.

Because of this reality me and my wife developed few rules:

1. We do not discuss unsolved relationship issues with anyone but ourselves.
2. We spend a lot of time working on our relationship.
3. If we start developing feelings for someone we talk about it. This stops the enchantment and some feelings are already gone. We decide on a strategy for those feelings to not grow further. Usually temporary mental distancing from that person is enough. And certainly we do not share those feelings with a person in question.

Openness, transparency and also having a strategy helps us maintain relationship with no jealousy and total trust.

Nothing wrong. Why would it be? sounds like your boyfriend is joking, but I would advise to keep a tab on that. Someone trying to undermine your already existing friendships is usually a big red flag.

No, it’s not bad. You have a best friend and that’s great. Assuming there’s nothing amorous going on between you, the fact that they are the opposite gender as you shouldn’t matter.

Just be careful to invest time in your relationship with your boyfriend as well. Remember that they are also your friend and even if they trust you they may tire of the situation if they perceive they are being neglected. Just saying this because I have seen relationships fall apart because of similar situations.

Not bad at all. You know there’s nothing more going on.

It’s always great to have good friends, regardless of details like gender. The more love in the world, the better. If you and your best friend have known each other since age 12, it sounds like he’s had plenty of time to tell you if he has romantic feelings for you. If he hasn’t, it sounds to me like he’s happy with the kind of relationship you have now.

I disagree with the other commenter. Your male friend is irrelevant, it comes down to trust, does your boyfriend trust you. I don’t like the opinion of the commenter of “Just dump him”, that’s a very throwaway concept. (Something isn’t perfect? Throw it out of your life. I don’t like that line of thinking)

I think you should communicate with your boyfriend, ask him why he feels that way, and ask why he feels like he can’t trust you. It’s a dialogue you two need to have. It won’t be a fun one, but if you both want the relationship to work you’ll come out stronger. (If he tries to say things like “He’s waiting for his turn”, turn it around, make it about you and him. “But do you trust me”?) You then give him time to learn and adjust to it. Of course if he refused to learn or adjust, and it doesn’t work, then it becomes a more serious decision.

My anecdote, I was your boyfriend for a long time. My SO, now spouse, was hanging out with someone who was clearly interested. To make it worse, I had been cheated on before so it was a massive trigger for me, and I was immediately paranoid (cheating really fucks with your trust). I grew jealous and it became very unhealthy. If my SO took the other commenter’s advice, we wouldn’t have the life we have now. Thank god they didn’t, and instead talked to me, and gave me the ability to learn and grow. I learned to trust her, and worked on myself, and now 15 years later we’re both very happy and have built a life together.

No.

Guys, correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t think y’all are really trying to sleep with all your friends, right? You do have friends who are like sisters not people you can see as partners?

I don’t have a best friend who isn’t my husband but am friends with straight men who aren’t my husband. My old boss comes over sometimes, we hang out, we are absolutely not into each other in ‘that way’. The brother of my ex, same. Just good friends.

Also, if you’ve already established that your boyfriend doesn’t care, why are you asking? If it’s his belief that all guys are absolutely indiscriminate and would always try with any of their friends, maybe ask him if that’s how he feels about all his friends who are women?

Is there a reason your BF is not your best friend now?

Do you meet each other’s expectations?

What is your best friend offering you that your boyfriend is not. You may want to start there when thinking about where this relationship is going.

Having friends of a different gender is totally fine. I’m a 36 year old woman and I’m with my spouse for about 7 years now. My best friend is a guy I know from uni. His gender wasn’t even a topic to begin with.

But

he still says that my best friend is just “waiting for his turn with me.”

Makes me icky. Does your boyfriend really think this is the only reason a guy (or anyone) could want your friendship?

It is not bad. It might be a problem if your boyfriend is insecure about it, but then it is a he-problem he should work on.

Waiting for turn: could be true, could be false. Neither would surprise me.

There is no universally correct answer if it’s wrong or not. By the sound of it it’s fine in your case.

Insecurities cause bad interpretations.

Of course its not bad. You can be friends with whoever you want. Even if he was into you, would it matter as long as you dont cheat on your bf? He doesnt own you.

It’s actually the opposite, it’s the fastest way to find out if the relationship your building is strong and secure or if your partner is insecure and its foundation is rickety.

The whole “You can’t have guy friends because they’re just trying to sleep with you” is a sexist trope anyways