• what the fuck are you doing?

    my dude

    no

    Speaking as the whitest dick I know, good tacos are fucking easy. You don’t have to do this to yourself. Hell, if you really don’t want to cook, jimmy dean sells a bag that you can throw in a skillet and then you just put that shit on a tortilla add cheese and you’re done.

    Gods fuck.

    ok. Go to the fucking grocery store and get some shit.

    Get a tube of ground meat. It can be beef or turkey or sausage, don’t care, go with whatever you feel like, it will be delicious. Get a back of tater tots from the frozen section, this will be your potatoe. Get some pre-diced veg, onion and bellpepper. Cheese. A jar of diced garlic in oil. And here’s the secret bit: panko. Trust me.

    One fucking pan. In goes the tots, they can defrost while you make yourself a stiff drink, I recommend a wellerman but you do you. When you start your second drink, drop the tube of meat in there and mix that bitch up. Add some of dat garlic, and if you think you’ve added too much, add just a bit more. Drink the second drink while you wait for that to cook, but don’t forget to stir it the entire time.

    If you want to add extra seasonings or sauces for flavor, now’s the time. It’s good without, but you can add whatever you want to make it whatever you want. Depending on what I’m feeling, I’ll add Head Country seasoning with barbaque sauce. Essence of Emerils with spicy sauce is also good. There’s a greek seasoning mix that I like but can’t remember the name of that’s also good, but I haven’t found a sauce to pair with it yet.

    When the meat is done, add the veg and panko.

    The secret of the panko is that it soaks up the juices but stays crunchy. The juice is where the flavor is, and that juice will drip out of the taco if it’s not held in somehow. Panko. Magic from japan.

    A little time and a little stirring later, turn the heat down and slap some of that mush on a tortilla, add some cheese, and eat that delicious shit.

    There will be leftovers, and when you reheat some the next day, don’t do it in the microwave, whip that skillet back out and add an egg to that bitch!

  • daannii@lemmy.world
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    2 days ago

    This one time , in my mid 20s. I was dating this guy. He invited me over. Said he was going to make me nachos. He said he had a whole fancy way to make them. Really talked them up.

    I get there and he puts chips on a plate. Covers in cooked ground hamburger and yellow cheese. Microwaves it.

    (That was all the ingredients) And presented it to me like it was his best.

    I mean maybe it was.

    I personally don’t like that nasty yellow nacho cheese.

    But I ate it anyway and complimented him.

    But I was super disappointed. I still remember the event. 15 years ago.

    Also I felt bad for him that he apparently didn’t know how to cook. He was like 27 then.

    This image somehow brought up all those feelings of disappointment after all the hype and then followed by pity for the creator.

    • gandalf_der_12te@discuss.tchncs.de
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      20 hours ago

      that is one of the stories that it is upvoted because it is both funny and sad :) i feel bad for you but also you have to look at the bright side: you learned something (e.g. to value proper cooking skills for yourself)

        • daannii@lemmy.world
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          2 hours ago

          Didn’t marry him. Tried to find him on fb just now. Didn’t find him. Damn, hope he didn’t die of starvation or food poisoning.

          I should have intervened more when I realized how unprepared he was for adulthood.

    • verdantshimada@piefed.world
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      2 days ago

      I got nachos once in a “Mexican” restaurant in Greece.

      It was basically this, but instead of the hamburger, it was 4 kidney beans. Literally 4. The cheese solidified back into a sheet that could be lifted off the chips entirely. My partner and I laughed so hard that people were giving us weird looks.

      So hey, maybe he’s got a job now as a cook in Greece!

      • daannii@lemmy.world
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        1 day ago

        Dear Mexicans, Europe needs you and your culinary skills so bad. Forget the U.S, get your ass to Greece !

        • verdantshimada@piefed.world
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          21 hours ago

          Oh, there’s more than just Greece that needs them. But I expect that in terms of climate, I’d rather go from Mexico to an island in the Ionian than Mexico to Helsinki.

      • AbsolutelyClawless@piefed.social
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        2 days ago

        I’d say “Mexican” food sucks in most European countries. I had exactly what you had in several places here. The only thing I’ve ever had that I could call real Mexican food was the tacos I ate from a food stand made by an actual Mexican in Netherlands.

        • verdantshimada@piefed.world
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          21 hours ago

          I had awesome Mexican food in Ghana. Turns out it was some actual guy from Mexico that was living there and opened a restaurant. It helps that Mexico and all of West Africa have the same spice tolerance, but man, it was great. Cheese, as it turned out, was his logistical block, everything else was available or could get shipped in.

        • EonNShadow@pawb.social
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          1 day ago

          My brother moved to Norway recently from the Southwest US. He misses quality (and spicy) Mexican food every day.

  • GalacticSushi@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    2 days ago

    There’s Mexican food, there’s also American Ortega style Mexicanish food. Both have a place in my household’s dinner rotation.

    This image depicts neither of those meals. This image is evidence from a crime scene.

  • Snot Flickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    2 days ago

    I see a piece of chicken, a piece of broccoli, a tortilla and “one other thing.” Sounds like a balanced meal to the Trump administration.

  • adarza@lemmy.ca
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    2 days ago

    you have a bright future ahead of you in for-profit food service at public schools. the only thing missing is the taco sauce ketchup.