I have social anxiety and never been in a relationship and find it very difficult as an average looking dude to meet women. I get bad anxiety when trying to approach a girl I like or find attractive so avoid it. I’m still working on myself so I know that needs to come first. Just looking to see what others did to find a girlfriend with similar difficulties.
So I dipped my toe in the PUA pipeline, back when it was called PUA. The ethos actually makes a couple decent points.
One is that it’s a numbers game. A quality relationship is based on compatibility. Compatibility is based on lots of things, but the more people you meet the more likely you are to find someone of higher compatibility.
So mostly you just gotta get out there and meet people. You can do that via apps, you can do that via hobbies, but you just gotta get out there and interact with people.
Another part of that is accepting that not every interaction is going to end in true love. Ironically, putting less importance on any individual encounter makes you respond more attractively in general.
Accept that whatever encounter you’re in won’t end in a romantic partner, and that’s fine, you can just hang out and have fun. You’ll be more likely to stumble upon people who dig your vibe and want to know you better.
Obsess over particular individuals, and you’re certain to drive them away, and also scare off any real prospects.
Chill out and have no expectations.