I’ve been with my boyfriend since 2024. Our relationship has to be on the down low / an open secret because dating isn’t permissible among his people. His family says they really like me, but they’d never accept me as his wife since I’m not Arab, maybe as a second wife, but the first wife has to be someone they approve of. I don’t want to be a second wife. I’m with him despite all of this because he treats me great, fucks me good, and gets me (he’s very open-minded and chill, and I feel fully comfortable with him). But I know he won’t go against his family for me because of $$$.
You have to balance enjoying today against planning for tomorrow.
How much are you limiting yourself in finding a long term partner by being in the relationship? If you were single instead of in this relationship for say a year, how many guys that could be long term would you meet?
How much do you value long term vs Just getting laid today?
You’re young, making mistakes and wrong decisions is how you learn these things. Just don’t make a mistake that is permanent, like tattoos, kids or driving without a seatbelt.
Also whether you are learning something from the current relationship that would make a future relationship more successful. For example, if you are actively finding things out about yourself that might have derailed future relationships then a failed relationship might still be worth it.
In that case, I also wouldn’t consider it failed, just impermanent. I’m thankful for each one of my exes, even the ones where we’re now so different we wouldn’t ever run in the same circles. I learned something from each of them.