My test has two critical dealbreakers to them.

One is kids. If someone tells me that they don’t want kids now but later? Nope, they failed automatically.
Another is when they tell me that they’re on the fence on deciding on kids, then that to me is a no too because I am someone who does not want kids and never wanted kids. It has to be a hard no, there’s no being technical or indecisive about it.

Another one is, is whether they can accept the lifestyle I’m living. Where, I live on the average lane in life, I don’t want things too hard and I don’t want things too easy either. I’m not ambitious enough to upset my comfortable way of living and reaching for imaginary brass rings in careers. I’m not entirely a deadbeat, I just try and make things work with whats infront of me and I have a particular pace in how I go about life.

I’ve had people where they’ve passed the kid test but I know for a fact that when I describe the life I’m living and how I’m living it and that I’m okay with it. That’s when I expect there to be people dropping off like flies. Because people normally are always looking for someone with great careers, busy enough to be earning lots of money, traveling constantly and indulging on many fantasies.

And I’m just not that type. This is probably the crucial crux as to why I don’t see myself getting dates or even in another relationship anytime soon.

  • persona_non_gravitas@piefed.social
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    2 hours ago

    “What are you looking for in a relationship/partner” and “how do you feel about having children” are, like, the top two questions people (should) want to know on a first date. Framing them as “tests” rather than “basic stuff the people need to naturally agree on for a relationship to work” is rather gross.

    I’d add general lifestyle/attitude towards money and saving, and political engagement in the “may get arrested for civil disobedience for a cause” sense.