Two weeks ago? Thats easy enough to remember. You woke up, wearing THESE PAJAMAS, then you lifted your head off the pillow at 6:23am local time just in time to see your cats butthole waaaaay too close to your face.
You showered at 7:02am. Then you ate a bowl of Cherrios with 2% milk, and despite being 42 years old, you ate these Cherrios while crying and watching reruns of Spongebob Squarepants on Paramount Plus.
At 7:52 you were interupted by a knock at the door. It was a
jehovah witness trying to sell you candybars for $5 each for charity to benefit their high school district despite being in his 20s. You didn’t piece together it was a scam until an hour later after he was long gone and you ate the chocolate bar.
After that at 9:03 you put pants on, when your zoom work meeting reminded you. Despite not being able to see below your waist, they knew you weren’t wearing pants.
That zoom meeting lasted until 11:30am. You proceeded to watch the second half of the price is right. You know, Drew Carry really isn’t all that bad as host. Plus Bob Barker was a womanizer and abuser. So Carry is probably the better option overall. I’d still like to see Ken Jennings host, but thats because I like absurd comedy.
After that, at noon you just said “don’t talk to me until I’ve had my coffee”, but the only one who could hear you is your cat Mr MurderMuffins. He was meowing because he wants food, global domination, and scritches around his ears. In that order.
How hard is it for you to remember the details of your own life??? I remember them just fine just from watching the hidden cameras set up in every room around your home. It’s become the new secret his show of 2026. It’s called “Who wants to watch a million hundredair?”.
It’s a lot like The Truman Show, but with more crying, nudity, and near endless masturbation in an open bathrobe.
Seriously though. Go see an expert and get a brain scan. Maybe your memory is failing. Could be developing dementia.
Two weeks ago? Thats easy enough to remember. You woke up, wearing THESE PAJAMAS, then you lifted your head off the pillow at 6:23am local time just in time to see your cats butthole waaaaay too close to your face.
You showered at 7:02am. Then you ate a bowl of Cherrios with 2% milk, and despite being 42 years old, you ate these Cherrios while crying and watching reruns of Spongebob Squarepants on Paramount Plus.
At 7:52 you were interupted by a knock at the door. It was a jehovah witness trying to sell you candybars for $5 each for charity to benefit their high school district despite being in his 20s. You didn’t piece together it was a scam until an hour later after he was long gone and you ate the chocolate bar.
After that at 9:03 you put pants on, when your zoom work meeting reminded you. Despite not being able to see below your waist, they knew you weren’t wearing pants.
That zoom meeting lasted until 11:30am. You proceeded to watch the second half of the price is right. You know, Drew Carry really isn’t all that bad as host. Plus Bob Barker was a womanizer and abuser. So Carry is probably the better option overall. I’d still like to see Ken Jennings host, but thats because I like absurd comedy.
After that, at noon you just said “don’t talk to me until I’ve had my coffee”, but the only one who could hear you is your cat Mr MurderMuffins. He was meowing because he wants food, global domination, and scritches around his ears. In that order.
How hard is it for you to remember the details of your own life??? I remember them just fine just from watching the hidden cameras set up in every room around your home. It’s become the new secret his show of 2026. It’s called “Who wants to watch a
millionhundredair?”.It’s a lot like The Truman Show, but with more crying, nudity, and near endless masturbation in an open bathrobe.
Seriously though. Go see an expert and get a brain scan. Maybe your memory is failing. Could be developing dementia.
LOL yeah. Just like all the other days. Copy and paste. If you remember one, you remember them all.