I don’t care how advertisers feel. I’ve been telling them for decades that their ads have zero effect on me. That it just pisses me off.

When I go into a grocery store, I have a list. If it’s not on that list, I’m not buying it. The list was prepared weeks ago, and added as I run out of things. Doesn’t matter if you show 100 ads. I’m not paying attention. Even though you paid money to show the ad, I still didn’t see it. What difference does it make if I’m alive? Either way I didn’t see the…uh…what were you selling again? It was a commercial for Jesus? See, this just shows how little I pay atttention to ads. I saw the superbowl, and I’m fairly sure one of the commercials was for Jesus. I’m unclear how one would buy Jesus, but that was the ad.

Tell ya what advertiser industry. I’m going to do your job for you. I’m going to make sure every single person pays attention to every ad you ever put out. Are you ready for this? Here we go.

The screen fades in from black to a closeup of some tittys. They’re bouncing around, and women are moaning. Then they start moaning “OOOOOHHHH, YEEEAAAAHHHH BUY OUR PRODUCT, BUY THE PRODUCT! OOOOHHHHH!”

Remember, tittys are still bouncing. You put the product in the center of the screen.

You just made a billion dollars!

Found the appropriate response.

I read your usernwme as “Sure Why Not Lake Erie Monsters”. Which in my mind is a direct reference to the 2016 Calder Cup which the Monsters won. And your name, could then be thought of as being a direct protest to the 2017 name change to the Cleveland Monsters.

A protest I am eagerly on your side with! Bring back the old name!!!

“OH SHIT!!! WE ACTUALLY FOUND A WOMAN WILLING TO RAISE OTHER PEOPLES KIDS FOR PENNIES IN PAY??? YES I’LL TAKE THE CALL!!!”

“Hello, I’m some lady, trying to get ahold of corporate”

“…how did you get this number???”

“I know who you are. I know what you don’t want. If you are looking for an employee I can tell you I don’t need money, but what I do have are a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter get a juice box now that’ll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you, but if you don’t, I will look for you, I will find you and I will kill you.”

“Good luck!” click

Wait…

looks at username

…were you two coworkers???

Hold on …

Are you saying all software hosted on github is infected with copilot? Or am I misreading the situation?

Yes, but you are the minority.

I dated a girl over the summer, and we were watching youtube videos in bed.

My phone has revanced, and it kills all the ads.

Then she shows me one of her videos.

It was…oh my god. Do you have ANY idea how awful the vanilla youtube experience is?

And thats just how most people watch it. They just watch youtube, with the official app. Ads and all, and are fine with it.

So even if all the fediverse minded people quit youtube in unison, it would still be less than 1% of their viewership.

You realize google owns youtube, right?

No lies detected.

Wario is a character in the super mario bros universe. On the gamecube and game boy advance, Wario dated (or maybe still is dating?) Ashley.

Do it, do it, do it, do it!

Odds are you and your friends

Ha HA! That’s where you’re wrong!

goes and cries alone in the corner

See, thats because you don’t know how to raise cats. It’s ok. Most people don’t.

Here’s what you do.

Step 1, hire a clown to stand naked in the closet with a chainsaw. You’ll need this later.

Step 2, go onto your favorite dating site, find a mate, and spend the night at a hotel.

Step 3, fall in love

Step 4, move in together

Step 5, adopt a few cats. Nothing much. Just a few. 22 should be enough.

Step 6, have your girlfriend go on a fetish dating site and find a guy who’s into chastity. She doesn’t have to sleep with him ever, but now he’ll clean the house, clean the 44 litter boxes daily, cook the meals, tutor your kid in his 2nd grade math homework, tend to the garden, wash the car, clean the gutters, and then sleep in a dog cage at night.

Step 7, anytime the cats start their bullshit, you use a little water bottle to spray them and yell NO! Eventually they’ll assosiate no, with being told you don’t like what they’re doing.

Step 8, fuck with your cats brain. Stare at them wide-eyed. Just dead stare at them without moving a muscle. Eventually they’ll get bored, and look away. That’s when you start salsa dancing behind their back. Everytime they glance at you, you stop, and stare at them. If they walk away, follow them and stare. Until they look away. Then more salsa dancing.

Step 9, when they fall asleep, wrap your arms around them and cover them in kisses for being such a good cat.

Step 10, do a barrel roll!

Step 11, now when your cat starts crying outside of the door, you stare at them. They should begin to realize you don’t like them doing that, and now they stop.

Step 12, from now on, anytime they’re annoying, you be even more annoying! But not aggressive. I did not say be violent. I did not say to do anything bad. But if your cat is annoying, maybe you go over and tickle them while making turkey gobble noises.

And that should do it. A house with enough cats, and a free cleaning service to help maintain all those cats!

Now you can get on with your day!

Brainwashed people do be like “Yes master” without fail.

That can’t be true. Licking a stamp can’t be much different than licking a boot.

I think it’s more likely that they’re illiterate. Mailing a letter requires you to write the destination address. Something they can’t figure out.

…so, they “get” what RATM is doing, but they said “Hey, lets do that, but completely opposite, and standing in direct opposition of the original.”

Why not do your own thing? I’m not saying I agree with the right, or conservatives, but at least do your own things.

Careful with the bellys. Some cats really like being pet on their bellys, until SUDDENLY THEY DON’T.

“When it comes to petting, it’s best to remember that cats as a species aren’t inherently social or tactile.”

I don’t find that to be true at all. I find each individual cat to be varying levels of social. Some cats will never leave your side. Some cats you see like once a month, despite living with you.

I also find it a bit disturbing that the word he used to describe how he touches his cat is “fondling”. I assure you, you’re the only one fondling your cat.

I got some bad news about tomorrow, kiddo…

Then she’d be Wario’s girl.