…well now I want to see the cursed one.

They charge people to enter the strip club???

"Before you pay us money at the required 3 drink minimum, and the money you’re going to give to the strippers, you need to first pay us money for the priviledge of walking through this door.

But…why are bagel seeds illegal to grow? And why aren’t bagel producers getting in legal trouble?

The little seeds on bagels?

So it’s illegal, but nothing comes of getting convicted. No actual consequences.

Got it.

Mr Rodgers obviously never covered topics of sexual spectrums. If he had, I feel like your answer is very in line with what he’d say.

Which, is a compliment. Anytime you can invoke the spirit of someone I hold as highly as Mr Rodgers, it’s a good thing.

He didn’t suggest that it was safer. Just large usercount, and long running status.

No no no no. This a myth. People saying we’re killing the planet. We’re not killing the planet. We’ll never kill the planet. The planet will kill us. All humans will die, and earth will carry on. And some new species will take over. And millions of years from now, they’ll discover our modern day buildings. Deep burried underground.

They’ll mistake them for bones at first, but eventually they’ll figure out that these are primitive structures for housing. Housing that doesn’t fly. Doesn’t teleport. Doesn’t blast off into space. Just stationary buildings. And then they’ll laugh at how stupid humans were.

Do you have any idea how terrifying a ducks penis is??? And yet, ducks exist. Ducks fuck.

I don’t know what pandas penis looks like, but they need to get to fucking. They’re gonna go extinct soon!

Maybe having violent and horrifying penis’s is the way to go!

I asked my dog if he enjoys sex. He looked at me with a stern look and asked “Where are you going with this?”

You KNOW I will!

Now I’m just imagining Stanley Kubrick getting his start in porn.

“Cut!!! The lighting is wrong. Who is handling the lighting??? It’s all wrong! It doesn’t invite me into the scene! Look at this lighting! Would YOU become entranced into a sexual encounter??? We’re making art here people! We’re making cinema! We’re making magic! Remember, Anal Sluts 9 will be the pornographic masterpiece that will be heralded among future generations! That’s what’s at stake here. That’s why we’ve all gathered here today. So if I say the lighting is off, then I EXPECT SOMEONE TO FIX THE GOD DAMN LIGHTING!!! LETS GET IT RIGHT PEOPLE!!! Aaaaand go again. Take 537…ACTION!”

Oh is that what we’re doing now? Wagging our finger without any real consequences or enforcement? Guess that’s the stage we’re at now.

Well I guess the public shooting of him was just the cost of gun ownership in this country. Don’t worry. He doesn’t want you to feel bad for him. Remember, he’s AGAINST empathy! So you should honor his wishes, and not feel any empathy at all for him.

I would continue to use his own words against him, but firstly, I don’t know anything else about him. Not that I’m complaining. Seems to me everything about him just pisses me off. So for my own mental health, I’m ok being ignorant about this guy.

But secondly, I’m so far behind the game on this, that I fear any cynical jokes I make at his expense might be new to me, but for everybody else I’d be going through the old reruns of obvious jokes. With me being the only one who hadn’t heard them before.

So instead, maybe we all set up a nationwide activity. We all go pee on his grave. C’mon! It’ll be like hands across America. Except instead of raising money for AIDS research during it’s infancy, we’ll instead be whipping out our cocks, and pissing on this assholes grave. And ladies, I didn’t forget about you. I’ll be selling funnels with tubes duct taped to them. So you don’t have to miss out on the piss fest!

“Are you ready for science fiction? Well. I have this robot in the story…and he can talk! He can do basic calculations, AND speak the answers!!! ISN’T THAT WILD???”

producer pulls out iPhone

“Hey Siri, whats 4,684,854,853 divided by 7?”

“669,264,979”

And this joke exchange would have been more impressive if everyone hadn’t known that I’m on a cell phone, with a built in calculator.

Seriously, any cell phone today would have been called INSANE in the 1970s.

I mean think about it. In the late 1960s Maxwell Smart talked into a shoe phone. And it was considered crazy high tech. So much so that as a kid in the late 80s, it was STILL crazy high tech to just have a phone. Just out and about.

I’m now old enough to know that technically cell phones existed at that time. But the fact that I was unaware they existed should serve as a stark contrast between cell phones in 1988 vs 2025. Ask any 5 year old today what a cell phone is, and they’ll know. Now have them watch the original Get Smart series, and watch them get confused by why he has a cell phone inside his shoe. I would bet they wouldn’t be as excited as I was when I saw how cool the shoe phone was. Today, it would be weird.

To be fair though, the opening sequence with the doors, IS still cool as fuck.

I can vouch for that.

Well thats the thing. Nobody in the history of court has plead innocent. Thats not a thing. You can plead guilty, no contest, or not guilty.

And “not guilty” isn’t the same as “innocent”

I’m still not fully sure who he was. 3 days ago, I’d never heard the name.

Now suddenly the GOP are treating this as some holy figure bound to create conspiracy theories. Which will be parroted on Fox News, which means by 2pm, parroted by Trump himself.

…and other than being a GOP podcaster, I still have no idea who he was.

Alright. But once they’re pulled out of the rubble, where do you you think they went?

Especially in the smaller bf-nowhere operations

Yeah, NYC and Washington DC sure are out in the middle of dirt road middle of nowhere locations. Most people can’tveven find places so small on a map.