I mean…it is in mine. Although I’m not in NYC.

house gets quiet and tense

…oh shit. Human fucked up…oh, this isn’t going to end well. Get the kids. Get to the car. I don’t want you guys seeing the violence that’s coming.

Because of the two, 2 girls 1 cup has less shit in it.

Uh-oh! I know that look!!!

OP I’m sorry to have to tell you this, but you have greebles in your house!

Yep, that there is the face of a cat seeing the horrors that the human mind is not smart enough to process. You got yourself a greebles infestation. Shadowy deamons that come for your soul, and haunt your walls.

Yep. No doubt about it.

Soley? No. Huge part of it? Absolutely.

GPS can go offline. If you’re handy enough to navigate from the stars, I trust that method much more than a gps service.

Just now catching onto that? Well let me make your day by saving you money with Honey!

(Don’t actually download Honey. It’s just a tracking service)

Just a year? C’mooooon. Permanent!!!

I once dated a girl who had the tiniest little kitten. Like half the size of this kitten.

But for some reason, the kitten hated men. Our theory was that after the girl I was dating leaves the house, and her mom leaves the house, that her stepdad was doing something abusive to the kitten.

So it would hiss at me whenever I came over.

I picked her up, and put her in my open palmed hands at she hissed and hissed until she got tired, and fell asleep in my hands. Then she purred and purred, and 10 minutes later she woke up and hissed some more.

We ended up breaking up, so I never got to gain that kittys trust. I miss that little furball of hate.

Now Microsoft…what did we learn today?

I mean, how did we get “Dick” from Richard?

Or “Bill” from “William”?

I hope not. I usually walk quickly, with purpose. I hate these types that can best be described as “waddling”. Just like a sloth cosplaying as a duck. And somehow they manage to just stand in doorways, and block isles. Meanwhile I’m in my head thinking “HEY FUCKFACE!!! MOVE YOUR FUCKING ASS!!!”

And then I wonder if I might have anger management issues. Then I realized I haven’t punched anyone in a really long time, so that’s close enough to managed anger. So that means these wastes of space really are that annoying to walk behind. Shopping doesn’t have to take 2 hours. You can be in and out in like 10 minutes. You just gotta know what you’re buying, and where it is. But then these types just…exist.

So I just want everyone to know, that if you could lose a race to a snail, I want you to know that everyone hates you. If you’re going to walk this slow, just get a mobility scooter. Maybe you’ll be faster on wheels. Which means out of my way faster. And really, that’s the ultimate goal here, right? Getting everyone out of my way. I think that’s a goal everyone should work towards. That, and finding someone willing to bring me cheese regularly.

I really like cheese.

But also, I’m not gay. I had no idea speed was gay? Then again, I don’t notice these things. I’m always the last to know if someone is gay. I didn’t realize Richard Simmons was gay until 1995. I got made fun of for not knowing. And that’s how I found out.

Or option B.

Which is to punch them in the face. Which does tend to be effective, but also carries legal risk.

You come to THIS thread, about sexytimes, with THAT name???

bones AppleTea

42 year old here. I can recall sitting in a KFC for hours on end in the late 90s as a teen, waiting for a jamaican named Elvis to deliver weed to me.

You’d arrange a time, I’d show up on time. He’d show up 6 hours later.

And you smoked in your parents basement in the dark. Why the dark? Because if your mom opened the door, it gave you an often crucial extra 5 seconds to hide your bong before she turned the lights on.

Even now, as an adult who lives alone, smoking with the lights on feels WRONG!

I bet these Gen-Z guys aren’t even going to grow up with traumatic paranoia everytime they smoke!!!

Ha ha kitty!!! Now you can’t scratch me as I RUB DAT BALLAY!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Awwwwww, poor kitty! Getting too much love…

BOOP!

I really want this rug. Is it real? Can I buy one?

Not from me! I was just joking around.

I’m fairly sure the person you’re replying to is referencing the last time McDonalds tried this.

A man with a dash cam tried ordering a big mac meal large with a coke, no ice.

The AI system instead tried charging him for 83 dasani water bottles.

When he tried to cancel the order, the AI confirmed his order.

He wasn’t trying to prank anyone. The dash cam was for accident protection when drivers try to brake check you, and then say you hit them.

The dashcam recorded everything, and he just hit “save past 20 minutes”. Then later edited it down. This was in 2024.

Oh…oh you must be new here. And by “here” I mean Earth.