Why woild there be cocaine in the cookie jar?

There’s no statute of limitations on murder? Are you sure?

Is EpicGames involved with Roblox? Because as far as minors go, I hear THAT game is a dumpster fire with zero redeemable qualities.

Just throw your paws in the air…and wave em like you just don’t care rest peacefully in the sun!!!

For example: ICE claims they HAD to shoot Rene Good, because she was a domestic terrorist who was going to run him over.

And everybody ELSE saw the video and said ICE is full of shit.

See? Different perspectives.

Two weeks ago? Thats easy enough to remember. You woke up, wearing THESE PAJAMAS, then you lifted your head off the pillow at 6:23am local time just in time to see your cats butthole waaaaay too close to your face.

You showered at 7:02am. Then you ate a bowl of Cherrios with 2% milk, and despite being 42 years old, you ate these Cherrios while crying and watching reruns of Spongebob Squarepants on Paramount Plus.

At 7:52 you were interupted by a knock at the door. It was a jehovah witness trying to sell you candybars for $5 each for charity to benefit their high school district despite being in his 20s. You didn’t piece together it was a scam until an hour later after he was long gone and you ate the chocolate bar.

After that at 9:03 you put pants on, when your zoom work meeting reminded you. Despite not being able to see below your waist, they knew you weren’t wearing pants.

That zoom meeting lasted until 11:30am. You proceeded to watch the second half of the price is right. You know, Drew Carry really isn’t all that bad as host. Plus Bob Barker was a womanizer and abuser. So Carry is probably the better option overall. I’d still like to see Ken Jennings host, but thats because I like absurd comedy.

After that, at noon you just said “don’t talk to me until I’ve had my coffee”, but the only one who could hear you is your cat Mr MurderMuffins. He was meowing because he wants food, global domination, and scritches around his ears. In that order.

How hard is it for you to remember the details of your own life??? I remember them just fine just from watching the hidden cameras set up in every room around your home. It’s become the new secret his show of 2026. It’s called “Who wants to watch a million hundredair?”.

It’s a lot like The Truman Show, but with more crying, nudity, and near endless masturbation in an open bathrobe.

Seriously though. Go see an expert and get a brain scan. Maybe your memory is failing. Could be developing dementia.

And then everyone would ride her

Guys. I didn’t find Luigi here. Gotta keep looking.

I would think mice would be anti-cat

…really? You don’t get tech/linux posts?

I think he was eating alphabet soup, choked, coughed it up, and typed out what he saw.

BRICS? Like legos?

I’m not european, but I like legos. Can I join?

He drinks a whiskey drink, he drinks a lager drink. He drinks a drink to the good times. He drinks to remember the better times!

Whoa whoa whoa whoa! Hang on a second. We didn’t elect a king. You don’t elect a king. We elected a dictator.

There’s a difference.

Kings are born royalty. This jackass got elected. We CHOOSE him. This is OUR fault. Whereas with kings, nobody chooses them. They’re just born into that role.

Because you touch yourself at night.

DUDE!!!

…can I come over? I like trains!

I work a job where I help assist disabled people navigate a major international airport.

From TSA to their gates is 1/3rd of a mile. Imagine trying to walk 1/3rd of a mile with a broken leg. Or no legs.

I KNOW my work makes a difference. I’m not enriching some billionaire asshole. I’m transporting the elderly and disabled so they can travel in an airport.

What makes it discouraging is that SOME of these people make it feel like THEY don’t think I’m making a difference for them.

I can’t change the shitty experience you had on Spirit airlines. I had nothing to do with that. I don’t work for any airline, but I assist with many airlines.

They get off the plane, and yell at me because the guy next to them smelled like he hadn’t showered that month.

I mean, that’s kind of your own fault. You chose to ride an airline that charged you $37 for your ticket, still uses boeing aircraft, and hires hobos off the street to be pilots. I cannot stress enough how little wiggle room you have to complain.

That being said, that’s only 10% of my passengers. MOST passengers are very thankful that my job exists. So I KNOW my job matters. I just wish my employer would pay me like it does.

Wait…you guys DRINK from those fountains??? Huh.

This whole time I thought it was a penis washing station. Welp. That explains why so many people get angry at me…

I’ve told people about Lemmy before. I got the same reaction everytime.

“It looks like it’s just people talking about computers.”

And their interest dies. Which tells me there needs to be more diversity of active communities. No one wants to come to a small platform, create a new dead community, and talk to themself.

Got Milk?