Our girlfriend, commrade!

See? Scotty doesn’t know…about toy safety and hearing protection! This is why OSHA would be upset!

Nah. Now kids want the real thing. They show off their guns at school and trade bullets.

/darkhumor

The Christmas season just gets longer and longer every year…

Orrrrrrrrrr, and hear me out…

You build a tiny replica house so that the fly isn’t homeless. Then he’ll leave you alone.

And 2 +2 = Potato!

Why?

slaps head

HERE’S WHY!

His child raping days stopped?

It’s called Russia, and it’s been happening since the 1950s.

In the early 90s, my grandfather assured me that he fought and killed nazis, so that my generation would never have to deal with them.

He didn’t say he cancelled the nazis. The word he used was “Exterminated”.

Maybe we should all do that again. Exterminate the nazis. Because quite frankly, this government is lousey with them.

I haven’t heard of a school shooting in a long time. I can’t tell if that’s because they stopped happening, or if it’s because they happen so often that it’s not even considered newsworthy anymore.

I just ask, in a screaming tone, WHO DOES NUMBER TWO WORK FOR???

They usually just look at me, and assume there’s been some kind of language barrier. Nope. I’m just referencing an obscure scene that nobody remembers from Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery. A film that came out in 1997. So a lot of people these days weren’t even BORN when that movie came out.

They said QUIETLY annoying. Things you wouldn’t speak up about. I feel like kidnapping world leaders doesn’t qualify as that. I’m American, and it’s been about a full day now, and it’s just now setting in just how insane it is that we just kidnapped a world leader. Just…took him. Meanwhile, here in the states, we’re also kidnapping random people off the street in unmarked cars for committing the crime of being not white.

These are things that should be screamed about, not silent.

Oh, these comments are all the same. Just a chain…link.

Why is last Tuesday funny? I was sleepy AND hungry. I got a booth. Powernap and waffles.

I live in Cleveland. Only thing seperating me from Canada is a lake. I could cross the lake…but that lake is Erie.

Sounds like your boss is just lonely.

Some people find pleasure in pagne. Lots of guys out there wanting go get spanked by angry women.

But they don’t know that you know that they know that you know…ya know?

Well…here’s the thing. Step 1 of your plan is to install windows 11.

In the words of Manny Calavera:

“I don’t really want to do that…”

What happens if you pull the rope attatched to this robots penis?