Doesn’t matter how smooth the piss flows, when it’s coming out the torso it ain’t hitting the toilet

Don’t let me stop you from having perfect piss aim by performing keyhole surgery on your abdomen

Most of the time

Broken petroleum hill?

I want my dick to work like one of those tshk-tshk-tshk sprinklers

Unlike you heretic, my back shots are smoothbore. Guided by God.

Caution advised, I have just received a theory from one of your scholarly peers that a phallus may act as a scilencer thus making your method ineffectual. Perhaps pee upwards at a 45 degree angle and then measure the height of each stream to derive velocity?

I like this theory, diverting more funding to your research doctor

I’ve definitely seen public bathrooms where the previous occupant may have been utilising this technique

True, so dick length doesn’t matter but shape/girth does

I tried all of these but I just came in my pants? Is that normal?

Removed by mod

I don’t even think you know what you’re talking about let alone what I’m talking about.

Damn crazy. Do you think the shape of someone’s genitalia has an effect on that velocity and diameter?

This isn’t true because I can squeeze the tip of my foreskin and the pee will start spraying everywhere super fast. Similar to covering the end of a hose with my thumb.

You should ask them to stop

It’s not eco fascism it’s eco totalitarian communism okay

Yes

No humans in zoo exhibits

As a vegan I’m of the opinion that humans are an exception and as such cannibalism, murder and genocide are all vegan and morally correct.