It didn’t used to be. At least for me and i don’t recall constantly seeing posts on social media about how lonely and sad everyone was or how to make friends. Now every other magazine article is about how lonely everyone is, nobody gets together, and gen Z doesn’t socialize, drink, or have sex.
Why is there such an epidemic of loneliness and why are people content to be lonely rather than socialize?
Why is so hard to connect? Because people having nothing in common anymore? I used to connect with people over books, movies, hobbies, etc. But now it feels increasingly hard to do that. Most folks I meet don’t care about any of that, they just mostly complain about their lives to you or go on political rants about how unfair the world is.
My friends and my dates no longer seem to watch films, or do much of anything other than spend time on social media? I dont’ use social media so I’m pretty ignorant of it all.
Everyone’s expectation of what others need to be to be acceptable socially has skyrocketed while their expectations of what they themselves need to deliver has bottomed out. In dating women only want perfect looking and acting males of higher status and higher income (so much for income inequality) who bring in the majority of the income while also doing at least 50% of the housework. Men expect barbies that never age and also somehow do all the housework and bring in half the salary while on call for sex or gaming 24/7. Friends have to have the exact same income so that they can’t outspend you or become freeloaders while being constantly interesting and available while you can’t be expected to RSVP or even show up if it doesn’t suit you in that moment. There isn’t any common ground because no one should have to settle for less than their every desire, whim, expectation. No one is allowed to expect that much of them and must be willing to take them at their worst. Friends & partners must always do the right thing and never, ever make a mistake.
Somewhere along the line, social media meant people stopped treating each other as humans and instead as a commodity to use to get what they want. Then they look to said social media (exaggeration and all, mine included) to find the answers and find outrage instead.
Yes, I have noticed this as well. People’s expectations are sky high an people are generally less grounded than they used to be. I have noticed this especially in the dating context. 10 year ago my dates were pretty chill, even if things didn’t work out we could still have a good time. Now I frequently encounter people who are outright hostile to me because I I am not ‘x enough’ in some arbitrary category in their head, therefore i am a subhuman scum who is ‘wasting’ their time. I’ve been actively insulted and harassed on first dates by such people. It’s truly bizarre.
I agree that most people have commodified other people and it’s gross and alienating. I’m not a wish-fulfillment machine.
Social media is doing more mental damage to people than ever before, and they still cant stop using it.
The thing is, I dont want to hang out with people in real life that has gotten their minds twisted by social media either. So its reinforcing the idea that its easier to just not hang out with people.
On the other hand, people in real life are actually still acting normal, at least in my life. Young girls say hi, they are not hostile, maybe just a bit more careful to not act too friendly, which is fine since it can be misunderstood by guys.
The online version of people is a lot more horrible.
Where I live people don’t act normal in public anymore. They b asically make internet comments at each other IRL and don’t really interact, at least not in the traditional way I do. I find most people find a legit conversation is ‘scary and weird’. they mostly just want ot make random commentary at you, rather than talk to you.
Yeah thats horrible. Social media has changed how people act in real life for sure. I guess if they are rude to people online, they also feel like its fine to be rude to people in real life.
This guy talks a lot about this topic and I think he is straight on point. Perhaps a bit too negative sometimes but i get it. Its a battle to not get influenced by this. https://youtube.com/@dapperdev
the other thing is people like go out in a group and just sit there on their phones together. it’s wild.
I get ton of feedback now that I am ‘too intense’ because I interact with people and ask them questions rather than just make vague comments at them. 10 years ago most people seemed to enjoy and be flattered that I asked them questions. now direct eye contact and question asking is ‘scary’ to people.
I also notice a big uptick in ‘experts’ as in people who want to lecture me about how stupid and ‘wrong’ I am… often about my hobbies or job… who know absolutely nothing about my hobbies or job.
When I go out, we dont sit on our phones. But im middle aged. Me and my friends talk and make bad jokes and laugh a lot. If someone would sit on their phone, they would get made fun of. :)
It just sounds like you dont have that chemistry together, the one that makes you want to laugh just seeing the other guys.
I dont know what kind of questions you ask, but last time i was out, we talked about how crazy women have become. A lot of laughs there, believe me.