I would prefer to find an operating system I can support that is developed by people who are generally kind, however I find the behavior of many of the top Linux/*BSD devs to be… abhorrent.
Are there any real alternatives that are led by nicer people?
We’re with you, but sadly no is the likely answer.
Most people have been abusive one time or another, though they can choose not to be any more.
Many, especially tech and foss obsessives, choose not to change though.
Heck, they even abuse or are horrible to other well established devs, so those devs leave.
To stop this from happening would require a restructuring of society, with restorative and transformative justice as the goal.
So it’ll likely be a long time before it happens, since tech and foss obsessives are usually not interested in such processes.