Thus guy is having a 12-coffee day, how is your day going?
Do you work for Cloudflare by chance?
You are going to get coffee balls if you keep this up.
I know I’m going to regret asking, but what are “coffee balls”?
Your balls become coffeed.
Brain: It is what it is.
Heart: But not for long.
There was a dangerous point in my bartending career…
I worked at a fancy restaurant, and they bought a super fancy (like $35k) automatic espresso machine, that ground the beans to order and everything, with a touch screen.
I accidentally discovered that, if I got a little grease on my finger before telling it to make me a double shot, after it poured one, it would think my finger was still on the button, and immediately start pouring another.
So I would make a pint of espresso each evening for espresso martini, and then a quart for myself.
Wait, how’s that different from just making yourself 2 double shots?
Pro tip: if that’s also your reaction every time you see a coworker looking tired, saying so might not be a boon to your continued employment 🤔
Equating “looking tired” with “has had 12 coffees and a soda that also has caffeine in it” is wild.
I meant that saying “just do cocaine” to every tired looking coworker is probably inadvisable.
Depends on the industry.
Restaurant worker: “I can’t until I see my guy after work, coffee will have to do for now.”
Depends on the industry.
You’re absolutely right, I didn’t consider that.
Certain parts of the music industry, and politics too.
Sure, but nobody said to do that, so the comment is a bit irrelevant, innit?
That’s nothing — I made a stack of empty Yorkshire Tea boxes that extended from my desk to the ceiling.
Just know the recommend intake of caffeine is sub 400mg a day.
I have tripled that on a drive home from my corner Starbucks before. Fun fact: the servers might be “legally required” to warn you of your poor health choices before they hand you your drink.
Looks exactly like whatever random anonymous “hoteling” office I might occupy on a given day. Corporate America sucks.
Damn, maybe consider a reusable cup?
Or caffeine pills
After his 13th cup he will get a meeting invite from his manager and HR to share some news with him. Prioritize your health and your family folks. No one gives a shit how hard you worked, you are just another worker bee making some filthy rich fucks richer
In 20 years the only people who will remember you worked late will be your kids.
Your job posting will be up before your obituary.I like that the amount of pleasure he provided them with dropped sharply after his death. The opposite would have been troubling…
That’s nice. My HR recommends improving health by doing yoga at home and making a better personal spending plan.
Not a raise though. Just figure out how to spend less.
Work hard enough to not get fired
but not so hard that it affects your health or your life
That’s fine as long as your job is paying you enough to survive/thrive. Not easy to do if you’re hourly with low wage and allowed overtime or if you’re dependent on a promotion.
At 14 cups, he starts phasing out of our reality at the quantum level
He’s about to enter Hyper-Hyper-Time
Heart problems incoming
Do you not have a coffee machine in your office? Not even considering the money, I’d be annoyed having to repeatedly run out to the café 😅
That cafe run is a break from whatever misery requires so much caffeine.
I used to abuse caffiene / coffee to an extreme. I had an espresso machine at home, and another in my office, and there were MANY days where was drinking more than 32 oz of espresso in a day. Most of my gastrointestinal issues can be directly attributed to this behavior. I don’t suggest this to anyone.
That being said, I still can enjoy cold brew, and my morning ritual is a big tumbler with 1 cup cold brew , 1 cup water, 1 cup oat milk, and ice. That gets me through most days. I also do break it up where i switch to tea for extended periods.
that’s like 6 peepee trips minimum
It’s not the peepee that gets you, it’s the loosey-deucey that follows.
