I have social anxiety and never been in a relationship and find it very difficult as an average looking dude to meet women. I get bad anxiety when trying to approach a girl I like or find attractive so avoid it. I’m still working on myself so I know that needs to come first. Just looking to see what others did to find a girlfriend with similar difficulties.
You probably have anxiety and depression that is being further induced from self medicating. Sober up for a year and then revisit trying to find an SO. You’re going to need to figure out how to be happy with yourself.