I’m 31, my husband is 51, and lately I’ve been feeling some baby fever. For the record, kids aren’t a must for me, I’m genuinely happy with or without them, but I think it would be nice to experience that journey. My husband is hesitant, though. Even though he’s very healthy, active, and energetic, he feels like having a child in his 50s might be too late. He also already has a 27-year-old son, and he worries that the big age gap between siblings would feel strange.
I guess I’m just looking to hear what others think about this situation.
When I think of older men having kids I mostly think of how unfortunate it is for the kid.
By the time your kid is 20 his dad will be 72, which would me like, on average he might get 5 more years of having a dad. If he’s lucky maybe 10-15.
Sorry to be macabre but it is something to consider.
Other elephant in the room is how healthy is the dad? A super motivated, athletic and engaged older dad is still better than an uninterested, over weight, young dad.
The flip side of that is the 51 year old will have the time patience and resources to give the child a great upbringing.
Almost 50, I could not imagine exerting the effort it took to get my now teenage sons parented properly.
It takes so much time, energy and patience and you dont really get more of those as you age.
Then the kid has to explain their old dad to friends and tell everyone that he is not the grampa.
Old dad also won’t necessarily have a lot in common with other parents that are 20 years younger, so those interactions will be very odd.
Old dad ain’t gonna be able to keep up at the amusement park or zoo. He isn’t going to want to sleep in a tent because his back hurts and he has to piss four times a night. Even if he can, it won’t be pleasant.
I am watching my in laws do this, they started at 40. It does not look fun and neither of them will play with the kids much. Little kids need active play, they need to be chased, wrestled with, tickled and tossed in the air. My in laws just keep telling their hyper daughter to just chill out all the time. It doesn’t work and she is perpetually frustrated.
Tl,dr y’all too old.
Doubt.
Maybe 20 years ago.
should