Press and hold two buttons in each corner. If those don’t work, try the other two. Keep iterating through pressing and holding one button on either side of the screen. Eventually, you will open a diagnostic menu. You can’t do anything here without a passcode, but it will stop the ad.

I’ve only come across a few pumps where I could not figure out the combo before I finished pumping.

Are you 70?

This is the correct answer. Celery is an ingredient, not something you eat on its own. You CAN eat raw onion chunks, but most don’t. Better as an ingredient.

Choccy chips.

Who the hell still eats raisins?! I thought society at large had decided we were done with them.

Raisins is nasty.

I had one of those too. Every so often, bad baby would scoot off the mat it 3am. Nothing like the absolute fucking panic of hearing that alarm going off when you’re dead asleep and now halfway to juniors room before you wake up only to find he scooted off the mat. AGAIN.

I don’t miss the pure anxiety of being a new parent. I had forgotten about that thing and I’m so glad it is a faded memory.

No, because you have to take your Lil buddy to the vet to get euthanized before you get ashes. Part of the fun trauma of this age is having to be old enough to make that decision. That today is fluffy’s last day on earth. Then you get to be guilted by the vet into buying some sort of memorial package in a moment of weakness.

Having your pal turn up toes at home is what gets you a backyard burial. Not awful enough, sorry friend.