Also why so many areas are zoned single-family housing and don’t allow apartments or other “missing middle” types of housing. Houses require a lot more resources to maintain, including utilities and increased car dependency.
And then turn around and give massive discounts if you buy bulk, raising the cost of living alone to almost double to that of a couple or small family.
Anything is better than living with my parents. I’d rather sleep under a bridge.
boy do i know how that goes.
My mother’s family was similar to this a few generations ago, 4-5 generations used to live in one house in Midwest USA. Their home spread from one city block to another. That said, I cannot imagine living in a <2500 sqft home with my parents and my significant other. My SO would go Thunderdome on my Mom and my dad would be freaking out on the sidelines.
I have a coworker who is engaged, he lives at his parent’s place and his fiance lives at her parents place. As someone who lived without my parents (even if it meant having roommates) since 18, I cannot at all understand long term living with parents.
Communal family living was a thing in the past because modesty, temperance, and christian values were expected norms. If you want to be a puritan, or don’t have familial shame, then do whatever you want. For me, I’m gonna have my privacy and peace.
PS: My coworker can’t spend the night with his fiance because her parents are mega religious. He can either sleep on the couch or go to his parent’s place. Likewise, his parent’s won’t let her stay overnight at all because they aren’t married.
I think the space you’re referring to is a big point. We don’t build generational family homes. We build single family homes.
As with so many things, we can’t have nice things not because “people are doing it wrong”, but because we don’t have the infrastructure for it. -walkable cities -public spaces
- reliable public transportation
- climate change
Exactly, I don’t know how big that place was in modern context, but from what my mom said the home had doors on opposite sides of the city block and upwards of 20 people lived there from ages 1-90.
You’re overthinking it.
Parents just want their lives back. Plain and simple.
When your kids are 18+ they shouldn’t be impacting your life that much, assuming you spent the time doing things like chores, boundaries, etc as they were growing up. I moved out at 25. I bought groceries, did yard work, helped clean the house, did my own laundry, etc. I don’t care if my kids choose to stay with me past 18.
That’s the difference between having an “adult child” and a “responsible adult” living with their parents.
Not every parent has the latter 😂
There are horror stories of adult children abusing their parents and basically taking over to house.
But honestly, even with a responsible adult child in the home, it’s not the same as having an empty nest. And I’m sure it works both ways with the adults living at home, feeling like they want their own space and not just shared living quarters.
The key term is delayed adolescence. Having a 19 year old that has a job, does their own laundry, pays their own bills, etc is different from someone who is still on mom and dad’s insurance and phone plans, not paying rent, and not buying groceries.
As an example, at 25 I was working full time and my boss was 10 years older than me. My car insurance went up and I was complaining about it to my boss. Overall he didn’t think it was a big deal, but the next day he came in and told me that our conversation had got him thinking. Turns out his parents were still paying for his phone bill and car insurance. A 35 year old man living on his own and his parents were still paying his fucking bills and, icing on the cake, he wasn’t aware of it.
We don’t fit in our house I don’t need all three to leave, but I need one of them to. I don’t have an office/personal space.
We want to have loud, animalistic sex on my kitchen counter at 3pm.
Great graphical description…Feel free to use your pet as the third partner and have a threesome…The true essence of animalistic sex !! 😂😂😂
I’ve just spent six days on holiday with some of my extended family, all adults, staying in a hotel with my own room and en suite bathroom. It was great and we had a lot of fun but after less than a week I’m VERY happy to be back in my own home with the knowledge that it’ll just be me and my cat in the morning. Maybe some people would prefer to keep living with family into adulthood, maybe I would if I’d been used to it but as it stands I love my parents and siblings though the idea of living with them fills me with dread.
It’s culturally dependent. It is not taboo to still live with your parents in some countries. And considering the housing market difficulties, it is actually becoming more acceptable in places where the practice has been previously taboo.
So…. It’s a psyop at age 18, but not at 21? What about 24? When is it not a “psyop”?
Could it possibly be that it was once believed that at around the age of 18 is when people should become mature enough to be responsible for taking care of themselves? No?
Or is it just not enough that the cost of living is going up every year to have a reasonable argument to remain home with family- now it has to be a “psyop” by big banking.
Horses, people- not zebras.
You’re absolutely right.
This is just something we will tell ourselves to cope with our spiraling quality of life.
There’s enough existing housing and resources for the vast majority of people to live off a single income.
Wealth inequality keeps all that excess under the control of less than 4000 billionaires that now own most wealth that exists.
I think it’s more complicated than that , I immensely despised living with my parents and even if it was unaffordable I didn’t want to move back even though I did a few times
Yes, that’s the psyop working
Imagine your preindustrial ancestors having this feeling
Damn I really struck a nerve. My preindustrial ancestors would have shared a house between three generations, like most humans across the world and throughout history
My preindustrial ancestors would just murder their parents, hell my one of my industrial ancestors butchered half of their kin for being early lost causers.
My pre-industrial ancestors would have been dead from what is now preventable disease or mutilated by slave owners. 🤔 But assuming they weren’t I’m pretty sure they’d be in a better position to move out since they’d probably know how to build a house and would have a community to help do it.
I would need dramatically more distractions and mental health if I had to live with my parents still
lol yes wanting freedom and to be away from your parents at 18. A psyop. Jesus Christ.
I mean the real psyop is that they’ll deteriorate your parents mental fortitude and strip them of ability to actually foster good nature in you. Instead being sold off to the cheapest daycare so that they do it because if they divide you, you cannot form that close bond.
Why do people still think it isnt intentional, they dropped crack to experiment on black people and discovered that division was extremely profitable. Insight violence and you indebt people, create false expectations so that reality feels deceptively depressing rather than just reality. Sell them the right to feel good.
Pain means profit, to try and end it would mean the world would have to accept an order. Want and pain are one in the same. Want your own rather than wanting to overcome the muddied mess that has become, rather than unravel and detangle the horrid clump of things unsaid, actions undone and regret unending. Then again, every person loves to be in their own world, rather than share it. It’s why games, ai, and social media are so popular. You get to share the perfect details only on social media, the perfect picture. You get your perfect world with nothing but your will in virtual escapism. Ai lets you have a friend without being likeable or having to extend yourself beyond your comfort zone.
Just remember, family is those you can truly love unbridled. Get through the mess, and clean up together, thats the only way to know who will stand with you as the dust settles. Blood family is a born luxury, however it is not your only family.
Family structure is supposed to create a division of labor with age. By uniting needs you take cost effective measures to guarantee content survival. However, the young are illusioned by the concept of freedom, while bound by mortal servitude. Like a beast confused by a mirror.
Capitalism is the idea of individual gain, over communitarian gain. C’mon man every cult, church, and benefit society like the freemasons structures like this for a reason. Your commune is supposed to be a structure you can fall back and rely upon. Thats why tithing exists. It’s to tide you over until you are no longer in need, however you must adhere to social expectations and responsibilities as it is collaborative effort. (Sadly corrupted by capitalism most places)
Ape together strong.
I’m 42 and my parents recently moved in with me. Someone killed me.
Most people in most of history don’t want that. Or at least not enough to make their life immeasurably worse.
Remember, just because someone posts something on the Internet with confidence, doesn’t mean they know what they’re talking about.
A lot of people really need to stop taking advice from Twitter/X, Facebook/Meta, Reddit/Lemmy, etc.
Spare me the predictable reply “but why should I listen to you” or any variation.
Username checks out
Its because the US excluded housing appreciation from the CPI, leading to lots of cheap debt all over the world that gradually bid up home values via the cantillon effect. Its now called owners equivalent rent, and its ridiculous.
Exporting all our production to China also helped dropped rates via deflation, though housing being excluded allowed it to simply flow into housing instead of achieving prosperity.
I wish this was our problem. Of course, there should be no shame in living with your parents. But it should be out of free will, and here in the Netherlands sadly that isn’t the case for many. Our housing market simply doesn’t offer affordable housing options. For many young people the only option is a rental apartment that will cost you so much, that if you can afford it at all, you can forget about ever saving any money. Which means that you’ll effectively be stuck in this situation forever. Which is an option to consider, but meanwhile those who can afford to buy a house, because of rich parents or whatnot, they have a far better deal, often even paying less on a monthly basis, while at the same time their house increases in value. It’s a major dividing factor in our society, separating the rich from the poor. Of course staying home is another realistic option to consider, and more and more people make this choice, but only for lack of a better option. The real tragedy is of course when staying at home is also not a realistic option. A fucked-up housing market makes the vulnerable all the more vulnerable.
this is basically what it’s like in america… including the infuriating fact that people’s mortgage payment on a home is usually less than rent… but the man won’t give you a home loan so you’re endlessly a wage slave and paying rent.
landlords even brag about how smart they are by paying their mortgage directly with the rent… like they have a free house hack… forgetting that someone is forced to pay to live….
the only good way to beat it i know is to buy a foreclosure home for cheap and fix it up… but even then you need a good chunk saved up and it’s risky
I came back later when I realized family is important to me.
