Might sound silly, but every once in a while, random guys around me (pretty short, female) start humming/making random noises when they get near me, usually when I’m alone. Imagine me standing at a red traffic light at night or something. It’s never women. Sometimes, it’s some creep trying to get my attention, though that’s usually kinda obvious.
But I also had it happen with guys who didn’t seem like they wanted anything. I lowkey suspect that some might make noises so that I’m not caught off guard or something?
Any men on here who do this? Or am I just tripping?
Edit to summarize: So, a few guys apparently do it on purpose, while others think they might do it subconsciously. Some do it around women, others around whomever, since anyone can get scared. Super interesting.
Also, when I spoke of creeps, I meant actual assholes who did and said shitty stuff, not random socially awkward people. You know the drill.
Yes.
I’m 6’5" and broad but the number of jump scares I cause is ludicrous. Most people (especially women) seem to have no situational awareness to the point where they miss gorillas approaching them.
If it’s a stranger then I’ll try to announce my approach from further away. If it’s someone I know I’ll see how high I can make them jump.
Edit: just saw you label some of these people creeps. They’re not. This is a massive green light that they don’t want to accidentally scare you.
yeah… i’ve noticed this too; Many people say I just appear out of thin air and startle them… that isn’t possible, I’m not stealthy… they just have zero situational awareness
No, I meant actual creeps, like someone making a noise and then aggressively hitting on me or saying something disgusting. Those happen from time to time.
You’re good.
Lol I’m a huge dude and I do the same. I usually go with a good foot scruff. Not too obnoxious, and most people will instantly identify it as someone is walking up.
Different people have different ways of trying to appear non-threatening. If I am ever behind a woman, I just start running behind them in a friendly chase fashion just to break the ice and make them realize that I am just a goofy harmless guy. Usually, they play along and run as well.
Oh, I know that game, very appreciated! When I get too excited, I might use pepper spray or a kick between the legs. It makes things fun!
Oh, she must hear the train coming
I’ll clear my throat, jingle my keys, make louder footsteps to make my presence known, especially at night or when turning a corner. It’s not just for women, but for any person or animal to not be startled.
I think it’s a combination of courtesy, habit from having worked in a restaurant kitchen, and camping in bear country.
If I could see any practice from my time working food service make it into the general population, it would be “Behind” and “Heard”.
Not just with women. I usually drag my feet to make some noise when coming from behind. Most times I’m walking faster than other people so I constantly have to overtake them but don’t want to surprise anyone.
Women specifically I try to avoid passing directly, if it’s not too inconvenient or I will look in another direction, on my phone or whatever to make it clear I’m not interested in them.
But if a creep approaches her, I do make sure to stand nearby and be openly aware.
I hate that women need to be so afraid.
Said it before but: The assholes in the world ruin it for the rest of us. Good on you for keeping an eye out. I do it too, it gets exhausting though.
Yes, the fear is typically that we don’t want to be accused of following you, sneaking up on you, or being creepy, so there is usually some noise or overt thing we do to try to imply we are just minding our own business.
Sometimes to avoid the situation all together, (let’s say I am walking home at night and I see some woman walking the same direction ahead of me, and I know I am going to end up passing her because my pace is faster), then we will literally cross the street just so that we don’t have to be put in the awkward situation of walking up to and past you at 3 am on a public sidewalk.
There are other things beyond this as well that men do or avoid doing which women might not realize. Most men in my experience are really careful to never be left alone with children for example. No one blinks an eye if a woman is, but men have learned to avoid potential false accusations in this way as well.
A lot of men are fearful to do something as simple as taking their kids to the park because of this. You can search for articles in which fathers who take their own kids to the park have been accused of being pedophiles just for sitting on a bench while their children play, or accused of kidnapping just because they are an adult man with a child in public. You won’t find any articles about this happening with a woman.
This is a fear my therapist and I have talked about. I didn’t understand why children made me uncomfortable to be around. We discovered that it wasn’t about the kid, nor their age, but the perception. And I think some kids pick up on that anxiety.
I go for walks for exercise. Sometimes I encounter lone women in the woods etc and I’ll try and take another route to avoid walking behind them. I feel like announcing by whistling etc would just make things worse. It annoys me that we have to think about these things tbh. I’m gay for fucks sakes, ive got zero interest in women. Im just out and about minding my own damn business.
Lol, I’m not into men and I very much wish that would exempt me from the harassment. The assholes in this world ruin it for the rest of us.
Personally I just walk up behind them, cover their eyes with my hands and yell “guess who?”
But to each their own
If I’m in an elevator alone with a woman or something I will usually just give a friendly nod and adopt a very relaxed posture, like leaning against the wall. The youtuber Contrapoints talked about this exact scenario in one of her videos (a black man whistling in the elevator so she wouldn’t feel scared) and it made me more aware of it.
Might look her up, thanks!
I’m physically quite large, but most people will outrun me for medical reasons, but you can’t tell just by looking at me. It wasn’t until #metoo that I considered what it might be like to walk on the street and be afraid for your safety all the time.
My partner shared a few historic experiences which made me want to throw up.
I’ve read the responses here so far and I’ve done similar things for the same reasons, noise, humming, nodding, etc… I’ll also cross the road if I think my presence might make someone feel uncomfortable, or if I feel uncomfortable.
I have also walked off a footpath onto the verge to give the person coming towards me, space to move.
I’d be interested to hear what that feels like for people who are experiencing this kind of interaction.
It’s appreciated! I don’t expect men to cross to the other side of the street, but some little noise to signal your friendly or neutral approach helps.
I’m an avg size woman and I had to consciously make noise to not give my mom jump scares. I guess I am a naturally quiet walker.
Guyfriends told me before that they do the crossing the street thing. Or walking a bit faster at night to get past me. I noticed people do that sometimes. Never noticed the former (which might mean it just works) and I very much appreciate the latter.
Just happy that more and more people develop some awareness for this stuff.
As for the humming: it certainly helps prevent jump scares I guess. Since some assholes also whistled or hummed at me before, only to try and get my attention, I’ll still very much ignore men who do that, just in case.
Knowing the reason, I’ll recognize and appreciate the gesture as a nice one in the future though.
Crossing the street is a thoughtful thing to do, and I for one appreciate it.
I’ll ‘walk heavy’ in stores or stairwells whenever there is a blind corner
Kind of the same reason you make noise while hiking in an area with bears. I’m never looking for an interaction so I make some one-off noises to let the other party know I’m there and I’m letting them decide how they want to handle that info.
If I’m walking around its likely I’ll be having a conversation with myself in my head which eventually ends up with me absent mindedly speaking to myself out loud so if I see someone in public I immediately try to shut myself up lest they think I’m truly mental.
I do that at home, lol. I really hope the walls are thick enough for the neighbours not to catch on to the fact that there’s no one else around.
Yea my neighbours know I live alone and I can hear them so pretty sure they can hear me and must think I’m crazy.
Let’s just hope they’re also talking to themselves enough to not point fingers.
I personally do this, especially now that I live in a rural area and enjoy taking night walks. If I encounter someone, but particularly a woman, I make some noise and slowly move away so they’re not caught off guard if they see me around doing my own stuff. In the city, I also move to the other side of the road and walk faster to give people space. Part of this behavior is influenced by my OCD and ADHD.
I’ve done similar things. I’ll clear my throat or something if it seems like someone hasn’t noticed my presence.
Humming seems a bit odd. I wonder if those people are just humming to themselves.
I’ll do things like scuffing my feet, jingling my keys, or pretending to talk on my phone. I am a large guy and I naturally walk very quietly. I have scared quite a few women, and honestly, it is unpleasant for both of us.
