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morrowind@lemmy.ml to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 7 months ago

Lifeprotip

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Lifeprotip

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morrowind@lemmy.ml to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world · 7 months ago
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  • Altima NEO@lemmy.zip
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    7 months ago

    Prison pocket though

    • GissaMittJobb@lemmy.ml
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      7 months ago

      Nature’s pocket

    • lowleveldata@programming.dev
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      7 months ago

      Just keep it sealed tight

    • MIDItheKID@lemmy.world
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      7 months ago

      I prefer the term “Keister stash”

  • Dharma Curious (he/him)@slrpnk.net
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    7 months ago

    I mean, I guess it depends on where he’s keeping his phone while nude. He might enjoy a little nude pickpocketing, if he’s open minded, and the pickpocket has sufficient lube

    • Aurenkin@sh.itjust.works
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      7 months ago

      It does leave your flesh pockets awfully exposed

  • 58008@lemmy.world
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    7 months ago

    This is why I keep my front door key in my foreskin. Either I evade the pickpocket, or I make a new friend. I cannot lose.

    As a younger man, I was able to unlock the door hands-free. These days, I need to fish the key out of my floppy beige KKK hood like a sock trapped in a duvet cover on laundry day.

    • Hugucinogens@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      7 months ago

      I call this comment, the “58008’s Wild Ride”

      • harmsy@lemmy.world
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        7 months ago

        Mr. Skeltal’s was worse.

        Edit: I misremembered the meme. It was Mr. Bones. Doot doot.

        • Ricky Rigatoni@lemm.ee
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          7 months ago

          You thank mr skeltal for helping you get off mr bones wild ride.

  • Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk
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    7 months ago

    I keep my keys in my prison pocket. Along with my phone. And my wallet. And my EDC pocket knife. And a Leatherman. And a Moleskin and a couple of pens. And a tactical flashlight. And a small first aid kit.

    I do walk a bit funny though.

    • SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world
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      7 months ago

      Which tactics do you employ with that flashlight?

      • Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk
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        7 months ago

        Strike hard, strike first, show no mercy!

    • NaibofTabr@infosec.pub
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      7 months ago

      So, like, which one goes in first? And if you need that, do you have to pull everything else out of your pocket to get to it?

      • Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk
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        7 months ago

        Nah, they go in any order and then you just kind of… rootle around in there.

        • NaibofTabr@infosec.pub
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          7 months ago

          Cool, cool cool cool… your pocket knife isn’t spring-assisted is it? or a gravity knife?

  • SendPicsofSandwiches@sh.itjust.works
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    7 months ago

    That’s where you’re wrong: for nature’s pocket can still be picked and it doesn’t even need to be full to do so

  • jaybone@lemmy.world
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    7 months ago

    Bro needs to do some manscaping on his eyebrows for real fam, no cap.

    • eran_morad@lemmy.world
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      26 days ago

      deleted by creator

    • MelastSB@sh.itjust.works
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      7 months ago

      You’re just jealous

    • CluckN@lemmy.world
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      7 months ago

      On jah the Rizzler is going to flush this bozo down the skibidi toilet.

  • nonentity@sh.itjust.works
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    7 months ago

    …he enjoys it.

  • pH3ra@lemmy.ml
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    7 months ago

    “Hold my bear” I wispered, reaching for my kitchen tongs

  • niktemadur@lemmy.world
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    7 months ago

    Yeah but what about nutkicking, then?

    • morrowind@lemmy.mlOP
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      7 months ago

      Simple, just get into cbt

  • Siegfried@lemmy.world
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    7 months ago

    deleted by creator

  • NegativeInf@lemmy.world
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    7 months ago

    Jokes on you, I keep my bills rolled in my foreskin.

  • Rain World: Slugcat Game@lemmy.world
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    7 months ago

    keep it in your sunburn

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