If it weren’t for Ubuntu, I’d wager half or more Linux users wouldn’t be Linux users. I have no hard data to back this up and I’m willing to be told I’m wrong. But most of the stories I hear are “started on Ubuntu back when they were mailing out free CDs” and “tried a few other things, gave up until I found Ubuntu”

It’s barrier to entry was so long for Windows users, and it allowed people the time and space to get comfortable with being on something not-windows, and sure, eventually a big chunk moved on, but it got them to this side of the fence, and that’s admirable. Wubi (a dual boot installer you could run from within windows without a CD a thumb drive) is what really got me on Linux, and eventually I stopped dualbooting altogether.

I am not a techy person. But I started using Linux in around 2007ish (might have been a little earlier). First started because of philosophical issues with open source mentality.

I bled for that philosophy, let me tell you. Nothing worked out of the box, my only friend who used Linux was an online friend, and his tech support could only help me if we happened to be online at the same time. He helped a lot, but dozens and dozens of guides later I managed to get it mostly working. Google.com/Linux used to be a thing, and it was quite helpful. After a few reversions back to Windows in the early days I got a terrible little netbook, and Wubi became a thing. It allowed you to install windows from within windows, without having to have a live CD. It worked great, but it was right back to all the same touchpad, wifi, monitor, et cetera issues. But this time I could go back to Windows and research my issue, print off the guides, and use them to troubleshoot. So much easier than asking my neighbor to use their computer, or trying to read and follow the guides from my blackberry lmao

Now? I haven’t a had a single issue like that when installing a distro in 10+ years. Shit just works now. Granted, I stick to mainstream distros, or forks of mainstream distros. Craziest thing I’ve tried recently was Bazzite, which is basically just silver blue. I liked being on Bazzite and silver blue, but I ended up going back to regular old fedora workstation, because relying solely on flatpaks is limiting, and I (remember, not a techy person) don’t understand rpm ostree lol

The taste is generally okayish, it’s the texture that gets me. It’s always so granular and just… Eugh. The impossible burger, to be clear, is amazing in both taste and texture.

Now, to be completely fair now that I’m really thinking of it, most of the meat replacements I’ve had were cooked by my brother’s ex fiance, who also ruined tofu for me for years. And my vegan buddy is the one that made me try tofu again and I loved it, and the impossible burger…

You know what. In retracting my comment. It’s absolutely possible that I just didn’t like it because she was an awful cook. I will go about trying them all again

Here’s a fun little story about the first time we saw black squirrels.

We had just moved to Norfolk, Virginia. My mom is driving through Norfolk, Virginia. Have you been to Norfolk, Virginia? Norfolk, Virginia is heavily African American. Heavily. We are white.

My mom is driving, downtown Norfolk. It’s very heavy traffic, we’re going slow. It’s one of those areas where you worry about someone randomly starts cleaning your windshield, or if it’s late at night you might you may worry about carjackings. We do not have air-conditioning, and our windows are down.

My mom sees a group of black squirrels for the first time in her life. And she yells out “OH MY GOD THEY’RE BLACK! THEY’RE ALL BLACK”

I swear to you, I have never seen turn so pale so quick. She looks around and sees that lots and lots of people walking around have, indeed, heard her.

Luckily, traffic was moving fast enough there wasn’t too long of an awkward time with the people on the street.

Given the reaction everyone has to black squirrel I’m pretty sure the folks on the street knew why she’d yelled, but we didn’t know that at the time. Lol

My mom told us that “taste buds change every 7 years” but that each individual tastebud was on its own 7 year cycle, so one could change at any time. Try it today, you may hate it. Try it tomorrow, you may love it.

Made us very adventurous eaters as kids, and if we didn’t like something she never forced us to eat it. But we were always willing to try it again later on.

Except for raw oysters. That’s a texture thing. Shudder

Because there aren’t (in common use) multiple variations. If we used ≠ and ≈ to represent when the sum was arrived at via addition or subtraction, and only used = when you used both in the same equation, people would fuck that shit up all the time.

Also, you use the equal sign a lot more frequently in life. More exposure makes us remember better

My poor little boy gets his eye gookies cleaned daily, but I would never wipe them back on him! That’s just cruel

I’m confused. The new logo is great, or it’s shit, I don’t care. But what does it have to do with wokeness? Did the old man sitting by the barrel start sucking dick on the billboard? Has he transitioned? Does the new logo secretly spell out black lives matter in invisible ink? It’s just the name in a sort of blob? How is this political? What am I missing here?

As a lifelong meat eater, anytime I’ve been in a situation where I abstain from meat for whatever reason, I avoid meat substitutes. They’re just not good. Black bean burger? Fantastic. Beyond burger? Satan’s taint. Stir fried veggies with fried tofu? Delicious. Qorn chicken stir fry? Beelzebub’s unwashed ass.

It’s so much better just to stop trying to imitate meat, and just focus on how frickin delicious veggies and stuff can be. They’re very good, all on their own!

The exception for me is the impossible burger. I legitimately like it better than a regular burger. It’s like if meat could be sourdough. I love it so much. But it truly is an exception.

They did you dirty, my friend. I’m so sorry. I will observe a moment of silence for your loss

You talking that weird orange with the bits of brown in it they used in the 70s?

You talking that high maintenance, orange brown shag?

You talking that deranged, I’ll never-have-to-clean-it-myself carpeting?

Best shit ever.

My best friend bought a house that was last redecorated in the 70s, and had been unoccupied (but maintained and cleaned regularly) since the early 80s. I loved that carpet so much. Eventually we pulled it up and redid her hardwood floors, but my God did I miss that carpet when it was gone

Story time!

I had a grey tabby named Lucy. She was a wiz at sneaking out, and I would frequently get calls from neighbors and friends telling me she’d been spotted, and to come get her from under their house or out of their doghouse or whatever.

Got a call one day, “hey, man, Lucy’s over here, I tried to get her for you, but she’s acting all mean”

I went and got her, and sure as shit, she’s being just hateful. She’s normally sweet, but it’s super hot outside, and the yard she was in had a dog and it might have freaked her out. So I take her home, and she hides. Over the next three days whenever she comes out of hiding she alternates between being my sweet little baby Lucy, to being the spawn of an ancient demon bent on the destruction of mankind (and their upholstery). Hissing, scratching, biting… Just weird and crazy.

After about 3 days, I’m sitting in my mom’s room and she’s laying there in my lap, being so sweet. I’m telling my mom I think we need to take her to the vet because of the mood swings. We’re actively calling to make the appointment for her when Lucy walks into the room and starts trying to shred the blankets.

Lucy walked into the room.

Lucy was laying in my lap.

What the actual fuck.

I had straight up kidnapped someone’s cat.

I was going to ask if she was a Cornish Rex or a desert lynx! She’s so pretty!

I’d specifically think of myself as an anarchafeminist, so yes, I’d say I’m a feminist. Fuck bullshit gender division, and fuck anybody who thinks someone is less capable because of their genitals or the clothes they wear (or if those things “match” or not)

A new level of stupid unfounded" is my new favorite phrase

Exactly what I thought!

Oh, I forgot the largest and most widespread: NASCAR racists!

As a lifelong southerner, I can attest to a veritable cornucopia of racists. There are:

Swamp racists, marsh racists, bayou racists (all are different), mountain racists, valley racists, low country racists, beach racists, ocean racists (totally different species, unrelated, with overlapping territory), woods racists, forest racists, and countless other unknown and tiny micro communities of different racists.

Did Randy Newman answer your question personally?

'tis truth, friend. And it’s absolutely fucking adorable. YouTube “popcorning guinea pigs” or rats or whatever, it’s so fucking cute.