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ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net to People Twitter@sh.itjust.worksEnglish · 10 months ago

What do you do for work?

slrpnk.net

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What do you do for work?

slrpnk.net

ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net to People Twitter@sh.itjust.worksEnglish · 10 months ago
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  • spaghetti_hitchens@fedia.io
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    10 months ago

    I, too, spontaneously ejaculate if I stare at my reflection long enough.

    • ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.netOP
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      10 months ago

      Speeding down the street when the red lights flash

      Need to get away, need to make a dash

      A song comes on that reminds me of you and I

      Jizz in my pants

    • fibojoly@sh.itjust.works
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      10 months ago

      “would you fuck me? I’d fuck me. I’d fuck me hard. If fuck me so hard”

    • Damage@feddit.it
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      10 months ago

      I, too, ejaculate if I stare at your reflection

    • 𝕽𝖚𝖆𝖎𝖉𝖍𝖗𝖎𝖌𝖍@midwest.social
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      10 months ago

      I have to completely avoid mirrors, myself. Walking down a city street on a sunny day is downright hazardous, lest I catch a glimpse of my reflection.

      • athairmor@lemmy.world
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        10 months ago

        Imagine the seizure of bliss and horror a carnival house of mirrors with evoke.

  • Rose Thorne(She/Her)@lemm.ee
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    10 months ago

    I know this is just a “grass is always greener” because I am horridly burned out at my current gig and it’s only getting worse, but damn, I’m really sitting here on my lunch break going “Yeah, gathering fish jizz sounds a whole lot better than going back into this hellhole”.

    On the other hand, you probably need some marine life education to become the cuddlefish jizzmopper that I certainly lack.

    • ValenThyme@reddthat.com
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      10 months ago

      deleted by creator

      • kureta@lemmy.ml
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        10 months ago

        They don’t want to be a cuttlefish jizmopper. They want to be a cuddlefish jizmopper. Much cozier species.

    • Alcatorda@lemmy.world
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      10 months ago

      cuddlefish

      That’s cute actually

  • superkret@feddit.org
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    10 months ago

    I stare at a big, brightly lit rectangle and press little rectangles with my fingers.
    I get paid about $0.02 per rectangle press on average.

    • ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.netOP
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      10 months ago

      Do the rectangle presses have to form a sort of order? Or can you optimize your pressing by rolling your head on them until the day is over?

      • superkret@feddit.org
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        10 months ago

        Most days I feel like it doesn’t matter.

  • Honytawk@lemmy.zip
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    10 months ago

  • TJA!@sh.itjust.works
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    10 months ago

    (?)

  • NegativeInf@lemmy.world
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    10 months ago

    I need a job like this.

    • ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.netOP
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      10 months ago

      You want a job to get cum out of fish?

      • NegativeInf@lemmy.world
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        10 months ago

        Like this. Not this job. Basic scientific research.

      • DreamButt@lemmy.world
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        10 months ago

        You don’t?

  • t�m@lemmy.ml
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    10 months ago

    Would he be considered into autoeroticism?

    • superkret@feddit.org
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      10 months ago

      No, he isn’t smart enough to recognize himself in a mirror. He just ejaculates whenever he thinks he sees another scuttlefish, hoping it’s a female.

      • clif@lemmy.world
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        10 months ago

        I don’t know if “scuttlefish” was intentional but I love it.

  • lunachocken@lemm.ee
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    10 months ago

    When you get the instructions wrong for self love

    • KomfortablesKissen@discuss.tchncs.de
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      10 months ago

      When you get the instructions RIGHT for self love

  • billwashere@lemmy.world
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    10 months ago

    “It’s important to have a job that makes a difference, boys. That’s why I manually masturbate caged animals for artificial insemination.”

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