Live in the past, is mine. I will listen to things over and over because some songs or even podcast episodes, rewind me back to times where I felt comfortable in. I do sometimes poke my head out to see where things are currently in the present, but nothing around really makes me gravitate to anything current-day. But, then I just go back to my hole in living in the past.
People used to tell old people to get over it about them remembering things as they were all of the time. I’m understanding why they do that. Sometimes the present really truly sucks.
Or, you have adhd, and a neurodivergent response to stimulants.
Possibly, I might be biasing my feelings with thoughts about sleep. The whole, “if you are trying not to think about something then you are thinking about it” thing. I fall asleep very easy now though, and I dont have much to gain from staying up later than I do now.