Why the hell do we call it “coconut water” like it’s some holy, saint-blessed hydration straight from God’s urethra? It’s juice. It comes out of a fucking fruit. If it squirted out of an orange we wouldn’t sit there pretending it’s “orange water.” But no, slap “water” on the label. It’s not magical glacier piss. It’s coconut juice. Stop jerking off the branding like it’s some enlightened nectar for smug wellness cultists.


I don’t know about that, I didn’t see any eyes, I talked to a dude that sold them, climbed up for them, and he had like a little hand drill, he would pop one of those little rum shots in one for extra cost, with a straw in them. I mean I tried to use a steel spike and it didn’t work at all.
Where are these eyes you speak of?
Here:
Huh, thanks. so you can pierce that with like a big nail or something less than a hand drill?
I only was around coconuts that one time for a few months so I’m no expert, I like most northern guys that go up there, rubbed the skin off my lower legs by climbing the tree bear style to grab some. Then the falling ones to half break on hitting the ground and waste most of the juice, then not being able to well open the others without similarly smashing them and losing most of it.