• zxqwas@lemmy.world
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    5 hours ago

    Like an actor bowing on the stage, the crowd cheering and throwing flowers at you, but some of the flowers are cactii and it’s not just flowers there are random underwear and a shoes being thrown at you too.

  • TouchMacaque@lemmy.ca
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    5 hours ago

    My step zaida told me that for Ramadan this year she’s getting me a new phone so I can comment on things and get free dopamine from all the likes I get but after 1 hour all I got was this stupid t shirt that says “I’ve got Parkinson’s and I’m not afraid to show it”. I fucking hate it so I shredded it and gave it to my pet warbler named Parkinson to use in his nest but even he didn’t want it. Now I’m stuck with some shitty shredded t shirt covered in bird shit and I don’t know what to do anymore, I think I’ll go back to college for accounting and become a taxidermist so I call stuff my damn bird full of shredded t shirts. Yeah, that sounds good.