The internet has always been my salvation.
As a socially underdeveloped kid, I’d spend my lunch hours in the high school library on those public desktop computers, reading fandom sites about my favorite video games. Computers always made sense to me. I even owe my entire career to them.
But the internet today feels wrong. Whatever the fuck kind of psychological warfare is happening right now with this Epstein stuff is too much for my mind to handle. I can’t do it anymore.
I will love. I will vote. I will support my community and continue to oppose this fucking nightmarish system we all find ourselves in. But I need to sign off.
Imagine the door closing sound effect when logging out of AIM.
No problem. I get really down about what the internet has become because I remember what it was supposed to be back in the early days. We were gonna communicate without social barriers, end prejudice, save the rainforests and the whales, you know…?
But the very nature of the medium is impermanent. Every protocol and technology that underpins the internet is flexible, changeable. It’s changed significantly from the early days, back when people were optimistic and hopeful about what it meant for us, it can change again. But it won’t until we disengage from it. As long as we’re hooked, we feed the beast.
I think it’s good to talk about our dissatisfaction with what online spaces have become, to encourage people to pull back, consider what they’re doing, and to look for alternatives. We can’t pretend that it isn’t a part of our reality, it’s out of the bottle, the box is open and so forth, but it doesn’t have to touch the whole of our existence, it doesn’t have to shape every part of our reality.
I tell people to take a single small step. Leave your phone at home so you’re not tempted to cheat, then go to a book store and buy a book, pay cash for it, and don’t use a rewards program. Don’t ask for suggestions or look up reviews, browse the aisles and pick one based off the blurb on the back cover. Unless the cashier is a friend of yours, no one knows you own that book except you. No one was paying that much attention, I promise.
Owning that book will be something private, something only you really know about, so it can be any book you want. It’s a small act, but it’s one that’s utterly free of judgement, analysis, and intrusion, which makes it something profound in this day and age.
EDIT: Bonus points if it’s a local bookshop, but do the best you can.