An older friend of mine had early onset Alzheimer’s. Her sister repeatedly asked her for loans knowing full well my friend
couldn’t remember giving her that money after a few days. The sister drained my friend’s retirement account of $110k before we got involved and put a stop to it, and she left my friend with a huge IRS tax bill.
Other friends quickly learned that involving their families in their lives was a very bad idea because there was no situation they couldn’t make worse. They grew up without any family support at all despite having living parents and siblings. Figuring everything out by themselves definitely made their lives much harder.
By contrast some of my neighbors and other friends have wonderful families. They see their family members constantly and really enjoy the time they spend together. Best of all they do everything they can to support each other and it makes all of their lives better.
Towards the end my dad had a chosen family. I met a lot of them ant his funeral, and they were all better than the biological family. He was never alone even when I was thousands of miles away, and that comforts me. The real family? Couldn’t be bothered to leave work at a retail shop while he was dying. The friends? Gave him a home, cared for him, carried him in their arms to the truck/hospital. I think…what it comes down to in general is finding good souls we can surround ourselves with and not letting those other people ruin us. If possible.
There are times it would be convenient. Certainly less lonely. I think it would be worth it for the right people. But not everyone wins that lottery.
An older friend of mine had early onset Alzheimer’s. Her sister repeatedly asked her for loans knowing full well my friend couldn’t remember giving her that money after a few days. The sister drained my friend’s retirement account of $110k before we got involved and put a stop to it, and she left my friend with a huge IRS tax bill.
Other friends quickly learned that involving their families in their lives was a very bad idea because there was no situation they couldn’t make worse. They grew up without any family support at all despite having living parents and siblings. Figuring everything out by themselves definitely made their lives much harder.
By contrast some of my neighbors and other friends have wonderful families. They see their family members constantly and really enjoy the time they spend together. Best of all they do everything they can to support each other and it makes all of their lives better.
You’re right, it’s like winning the lottery.
Towards the end my dad had a chosen family. I met a lot of them ant his funeral, and they were all better than the biological family. He was never alone even when I was thousands of miles away, and that comforts me. The real family? Couldn’t be bothered to leave work at a retail shop while he was dying. The friends? Gave him a home, cared for him, carried him in their arms to the truck/hospital. I think…what it comes down to in general is finding good souls we can surround ourselves with and not letting those other people ruin us. If possible.