I lost a relative recently and I’ve been struggling with the grieving aspect. I haven’t cried or gotten visceral anger. I’m mostly just generally unpleasant right now. Impatient, easily annoyed and lack energy. Part of it is the cognitive dissonance associated. The individual was complicated, more good in the world overall, but, undeniably a lot of bad too.
The only way any of us heal.
I wrote parts of the above with tears in my eyes, but a smile on my face — that’s a good summary of how I experience grief. Getting to think and share stories about them was like spending time with an old friend, and I relished the opportunity.
It can be tough to gauge the value of my words because my memories are so personal and what feel like profound moments could feel empty to others far removed, so thanks for saying something. I’m glad my words can help anyone — I think they’d have liked that.