So many. Not being able to regulate emotions, which led to me throwing “temper tantrums” kind of. 7 years of therapy and I think I had major breakthrough. I am still evaluating it, but I am fairly confident that I might have overcome it.
It is really difficult to explain, but I will try it. I was greatly distressed one day, and decided to write an essay on Community and Compassion. As I was writing it, it basically came out as a rant and increased my distress and I was able identify a thought that was running in my head. It said “I am not enough.” I don’t why, but I reversed it and started ‘chanting’ “I am enough”. I immediately felt like a huge wait lifted from my mind. I felt lighter. So, basically that became my chant now.
In retrospect, it made sense and yet, it was really hard for me to become aware of it. But, in the end, all those therapy sessions paid off, even if I had lost hope.
I felt ignored, which made me feel worthless. Exact circumstances are too personal to share. But, the realization that I have never felt compassion in my life, as far back as I can remember was too much at the time.
This is what some call “mindfulness”. The ability to be aware of feeling an emotion, and then to be able to step outside of that and ask “why am I feeling that?”. You can then start to work on the cause rather than the symptoms.
If you ever get taught meditation, a lot of it is about letting the mind go in the direction it wants to go, catching it, noting it, and then resetting. Lather, rinse, repeat.
So many. Not being able to regulate emotions, which led to me throwing “temper tantrums” kind of. 7 years of therapy and I think I had major breakthrough. I am still evaluating it, but I am fairly confident that I might have overcome it.
What do you feel was the precursor to the breakthru?
It is really difficult to explain, but I will try it. I was greatly distressed one day, and decided to write an essay on Community and Compassion. As I was writing it, it basically came out as a rant and increased my distress and I was able identify a thought that was running in my head. It said “I am not enough.” I don’t why, but I reversed it and started ‘chanting’ “I am enough”. I immediately felt like a huge wait lifted from my mind. I felt lighter. So, basically that became my chant now.
In retrospect, it made sense and yet, it was really hard for me to become aware of it. But, in the end, all those therapy sessions paid off, even if I had lost hope.
What was the trigger as best you can pinpoint that time? What do you feel triggered the distress, what was the context?
I felt ignored, which made me feel worthless. Exact circumstances are too personal to share. But, the realization that I have never felt compassion in my life, as far back as I can remember was too much at the time.
This is what some call “mindfulness”. The ability to be aware of feeling an emotion, and then to be able to step outside of that and ask “why am I feeling that?”. You can then start to work on the cause rather than the symptoms.
If you ever get taught meditation, a lot of it is about letting the mind go in the direction it wants to go, catching it, noting it, and then resetting. Lather, rinse, repeat.
You just did it when you were writing an essay.
Yeah, mindfulness helped me to become aware of that thought. Mindfulness is just incredible, in my experience.