I’m in a gay relationship and finally came out to my family this year, they accepted me. I brought my boyfriend home for the first time for the winter holidays. He started drinking heavily with my dad this morning, and now he’s borderline blackout drunk and very touchy… horny, to say the least. It makes me uncomfortable since I’ve never seen him like this, lol. And of course, he’ll probably be hungover on my birthday tomorrow.

  • TheAlbatross@lemmy.blahaj.zone
    29·
    16 days ago

    In the moment? Put him to bed. Tell him he’s too drunk and he’s causing problems, acting inappropriately and put him to bed. Tomorrow, explain what happened, if he’s not immediately remorseful hit him with the “Are you proud of your actions? Trying to touch my cock in front of my family?” be explicit. Explain that is unacceptable and if that’s how he’s going to act while drunk, he can’t drink that much around your family. Set these firm boundaries.

    If he’s a decent man, he’s gonna feel really regretful. You can explain you still love him, you still wanna be with him, you understand people get drunk and make bad decisions and ask him if he wants help metering his drinking and try to work out some code phrases to remind him to pace himself while saving face. Revelling drunks hate to be told “Slow down” or “Haven’t you had enough?” Something like touching his shoulder and saying “Whew, these drinks are strong! I think I’m gonna get a buffer water, do you want one, honey?”

    Also, get him a Gatorade before he goes to bed and one for when he wakes up, that should help the hangover in a big way. Any electrolytes will do. I like the Brode pills.

    Edit: Might wanna reassure him he didn’t ruin Christmas, buuuuut he might have made a memorable story 😏. Also if it’s too early in the day to go to bed, impress upon him he needs a lil nap and can rejoin the party after.

      • KoboldCoterie@pawb.socialEnglish
        13·
        16 days ago

        He might have felt pressure to keep up with your dad due to just meeting them / wanting to make a good impression, and not realized how drunk he was getting. Doesn’t excuse his actions in the least, but might help contextualize them… given it doesn’t sound like this is something he would normally do.

      • TheAlbatross@lemmy.blahaj.zone
        6·
        16 days ago

        Oh honey it happens, it’s not a clear sign of any larger problem, sometimes people just get too drunk.

        …if it becomes a pattern, that’s a different story. But he was probably a bit nervous meeting the family and overindulged. If he’s doing it out of boredom, make the boy cook!! Anyone can peel or chop vegetables. I got mine a lil apron and call him my sous chef (don’t tell him he’s the actually the garçon de cuisine)

      • village604@adultswim.fanEnglish
        3·
        16 days ago

        I probably wouldn’t start the “metering your drinking” conversation unless it happens a second time, though.

        Or even a third since you need 3 occurrences to establish a pattern.

  • village604@adultswim.fanEnglish
    3·
    16 days ago

    I was in a similar situation when an ex asked her cousin in law for pointers on deep throating with her dad standing next to her.

    What I did was start wrapping up the night and steered her towards the door ASAP, then had a chat with her about it the next day. She was mortified, and it didn’t happen again. Luckily her dad thought it was hilarious.

  • cloudforms@piefed.blahaj.zoneEnglish
    3·
    16 days ago

    I’m so sorry this is happening to you. Don’t let him use alcohol as an excuse for pushing your boundaries. If this is how he’s acting around your family at a holiday, how will he act when you’re alone? Somebody worthy of you would never do this. You deserve someone who can drink without disrespecting your body and your birthday.

  • ℕ𝕖𝕞𝕠@slrpnk.net
    1·
    16 days ago

    In my life, I usually bounce them out of the bar and tell them not to come back.

    For you, give him some ibuprofen (NOT acetaminophen) and lots of water and put him to bed. Serve him a breakfast of braise beef tongue and hope for the best.

    • TheAlbatross@lemmy.blahaj.zone
      5·
      16 days ago

      I don’t think ibuprofen is safe to take with alcohol either.

      Pretty sure the label warns against this here. But lots of water and sleep is a good idea.

      Do I have to get shit faced to get braised beef tongue for breakfast or can I just ask nicely? I’m open to either.

      • ℕ𝕖𝕞𝕠@slrpnk.net
        1·
        16 days ago

        Not safe, but a lot less unsafe than acetaminophen.

        do I have to

        Not at all! But tacos de lengua are basically the perfect hangover food.

  • SendPicsofSandwiches@sh.itjust.works
    1·
    16 days ago

    Sounds like a pretty sticky situation, since if he’s really sloshed then a private conversation about boundaries may not be recieved well, or may be repeated embarrassingly later on. Coffee, and food might be the best help now, and just trying to keep him out of the sauce until things even out a bit. Best of luck, and happy holidays!