Gay is when you have a girlfriend. So regardless of if you’re straight, lesbian, bi, pan, etc., if you have a girlfriend, you’re gay. If you have a boyfriend, nb partner, or no partner, you’re straight. Poly people are gay as soon as they date at least one person who they use the term girlfriend for. If you’re a middle aged woman who refers to her female friends as girlfriends, guess what, gay. Hope this helps