I’m going to a cabaret show tonight and I wanted to get in costume. I tried to make some fake cigarettes but now I’m worried I’ll these will make me look like a perverted vampire. What’s the consensus team?

  • Wren@lemmy.todayEnglish
    10·
    1 day ago

    You’re fine, used tampons look more like filleted slugs.

    To make them more like cigarettes you could use a bit of cocoa or food grade activated charcoal for ash, or just burn the ends with a lighter. Bright yellow or orange sprinkles could be embers. Wrap brown paper around the other end for the filter.

    To make them more like tampons, use them to skewer marshmallows, lightly roast over a flame until marshmallows melt together and turn yellowish with a few bubbles, then slather in cranberry sauce.

        • tamal3@lemmy.world
          2·
          13 hours ago

          True, but slug innards are not the color of old brown blood either. Having stepped on a lot of slugs as a child… (too young to realize that they were critters, but old enough to be horrified by more info after the fact). Anyway, my feet weren’t red with the blood of slain enemies.

          My mom also used to cut them in half with a butter knife to feed frogs. Wow. I guess that was a weird childhood. Maybe my memory is faulty but I seem to remember them being kind of creamy and oozy all the way through.

          FTR, I am now Friend To Slugs. Also a vegetarian. These wars are all in my past.

          • Wren@lemmy.todayEnglish
            1·
            9 hours ago

            I was trying to make a disgusting joke. I failed.

            But I have a visceral, dreamlike memory of dissecting a sea slug while high on codeine for my intense cramps (it did nothing,) where the image of gelly-like brown flesh and rusty, marbled organs was reinforced immediately after when using the washroom.

            Thank you for sharing your visceral memory, it raises a lot of questions. I’m happy you’ve embraced peace because slugs are neat.

            Fun facts:

            • A few mollusks do have haemoglobin, so their haemolymph(blood-stuff) is red. The reason most mollusk blood is green/gray/blue is because they have copper while we have iron.

            • Slugs are all creamy because they don’t have a circulatory system, they’re more of a bag of fluids with some organs sloshing around inside.

            • Banana slugs have the highest penis volume to body-volume ratio of any animal. When they mate, they generate flesh spears to stab into each other, which serve no apparent purpose. Whoever wins the mating (gets pregnant first) gets to eat their partner’s penis for nutrients, but it grows back.