It’s actually my headcannon that the 3 wise men were 3 teenagers who accidentally time traveled. They blundered into the scene and felt bad and handed over 2 different scents of axe body spray and a handful of chuck E cheese tokens.
Given thier odd dress and incomprehensible language, they were assumed to be foreign and extremely wealthy. Not having any comprehension of the gifts they concluded they must be gold and exotic perfumes.
That is a beautiful thought.
Cut out… maybe I brought something inapropriate, something not fitting the narrative. I think I am bringing a blade, meant to show decisiveness. But on top of being a weapon it was roman made. ayyyyy
Common Sense.
A circumcision? :3 feel free to delete my comment I just don’t think it’s thought about enough
Vaccines.
Come on people, do you want the son of God to get whooping cough?!
(For the record, I’m in favour of science-based medical care, including vaccines. I shouldn’t have to say that. What’s the world coming to?)
A fake 10 Denari coin with an invitation to a prayer group on the back
A DNA/patternity test…
There’s no reason that the Holy Spirit wouldn’t borrow DNA from a suitable male human. The “special” stuff is magical, spiritual or whatever you might call it, and that doesn’t have to be in the genetic code.
So basically, there’s a good chance that the test would come back as Joseph being the bio-dad, whether he laid with Mary or not.
I’d say the odds would be that the father is not Joseph…
As Christopher Hitchens once said: “Which is more likely — that the whole natural order is to be suspended, or that a jewish minx should tell a lie?"
I brought him a Camel, but apparently they were a Marlboro family.
A $10 charity donation in his name
To the Human Fund?
A key chain with his name, “Brian.”
I had some marvelous time share options to offer but after 4 hours the rubes said they’d stick to the manger. Don’t they know time shares practically pay for themselves? Smh
An extended car warranty. In 2000 years he’ll thank me.
I couldn’t figure out what to give the kid. I mean, a king deserves only the best, and the King of Kings doubly so. But what you do get someone who literally has everything?! I mean, he made everything, well at least his dad did? I don’t know.
So I’d been studying these earwigs that infest the graineries of my subjects and found this really cool one. The sculpting on its abdomen is just beautiful! So I named it after this kid and brought an amphoriskos of them with me to give to the little LORD.
When I knelt and placed the bottle in the kids manger, the mother just jumped up and snatched it, tossing it in a corner. She and the dad (lol) looked at me like I had grown a second head. I get that bugs aren’t everyone’s thing but they didn’t even look at them! The next dung scarabs I find are getting named after his parents.
ancestry.com dna kit
A cross necklace.
