For my birthday, my spouse got me a nicer newer expensive version of a thing I already have. The one I have is older and dented but works just fine. I use it weekly. I never complain about it. I’ve never asked for a newer one. The one I have was given to me by my mother in law, whom I adore. It’s sentimental.
I don’t like new things. When they got me a 3d printer, it was the cheapest one and it was a kit and I had to build myself. I loved it. It’s perfect for me. I regularly buy things used or get things from Buy Nothing groups. I much prefer to repair old things in many ways. My car has over 100k miles. The one before did too. I don’t like new things.
We got into a huge argument because I want to return it. They are so upset with me that they left the house to calm down. Why am I the bad person? Why are they mad at me? I have a very clear tendency for old broken used things. Why am I obligated to like this new thing?
We literally established a rule early in our marriage. I’m not allowed to gift nerdy t shirts. They don’t like them. I love them. I thought they would like them but they do not. So they asked me to stop. This feels the same. I do not like new things. Why am I the bad guy for wanting to return the newer version of the thing I already have?
I disagree.
From what op wrote i dont get any malice from the spouces gift. I belive they sincerelly tried to do nice thing.
Would you not be hurt if you really tought you did a nice thing to your loved one and were scolded for it? I completelly understand how it might have upsetted the spouce.
Thats why i would accept the gift and very carefully tell the other side they should not do it again.
The only information started was (I wanted to return it)
Why are you claiming the partner was being scolded? We don’t know that happened
The last weekend almost the entire post expressing how confusing the gift was because of how obvious it is to them that the spouse had enough information to know they wouldn’t appreciate the gift.
I’ll accept that there is a lot we dont know so I’m only responding to what was presented in the post and attempting to accept it as is.
Please, I’ll actually listen, where did you get any impression of how the partner was scolded by op.