(TikTok screencap)
Some poor schmuck doing unpaid overtime in the desperate hope that one day he will be rewarded for his hard work. Instead he will be given a 25 years of service pin and will be laid off the week after.
Sonder: (neologism) The profound feeling of realizing that everyone, including strangers passing in the street, has a life as complex as one’s own, which they are constantly living despite one’s personal lack of awareness of it
Okay, so story time (and PSA, it’s going to get real and contains passing references to sexual abuse… I’ll put the whole thing behind a spoiler tag):
Tap for spoiler
In May of 2002 I learned that the pastor of my church in Central Florida was unexpectedly resigning. I grew up with the guy, two of his kids were practically brothers to me; Thanksgiving and Christmas always involved a stop at their place, etc. The reason for the resignation was that he’d been caught on a hidden camera in his office in an act of “sexual indiscretion.”
The woman? My mom.
Turns out she was a victim of sexual abuse for nearly a decade, but none of us realized that for awhile (it wasn’t until counseling that my mom would have the language to articulate what had happened to her). Some church folks assumed the pastor was up to something, so a guy hid a camera in the office when he’d been tasked to install a security system on the property. (Of course, for them, this was just an affair and they blamed my mom just as much.)
Anyway, the night I learned about it, me and a group of friends (including the pastor’s son) just bolted for downtown Orlando and wound up on the banks of Lake Eola, which is in the middle of the city. I felt like my entire world was coming down, someone I loved and trusted had betrayed me and my family, the person that had helped shape my own faith, and I wasn’t sure what was next. Even with close friends around, I felt almost cosmically alone.
Then there was some impulse. I believe it was God, your mileage may vary on that, but that impulse directed me to all the lights in the windows of the buildings. And I had the clearest realization that each “light” (as OP puts it) was a person and living a life. Maybe they were working late and wanted to get home. Maybe it was a boss sleeping with his secretary. Maybe it was someone having the best day of their life, or maybe the worst.
Whatever the case, I suddenly realized that I was not alone and that my problems were not as earth-shattering as they felt—at least not in a literal sense. And those lights almost seemed to blend into the stars above and I had a great sense of perspective. My mom and I would get through this.
Anyway, I know this random, but I’ve not seen anyone else talk about something similar before and this conjured a memory I return to often.
I’d also walk around lake Eola when I was sad and looked up at the city lights much like you did. I often thought of them also like stars in a galaxy.
It oddly helpful in times of stress to feel small in an infinite world. You’d think it would make it worse.
But it’s like “I bet dozens of those people are sitting on the edge of their bed sobbing and hopeless. They’ll be okay, so will you, so will I. The world spins on.
You couldn’t stop time from healing your wounds even if you wanted to. All things pass like lights going on in off nightly in those towers.
In the immortal words of Mike Patton
We’re not alone in this psychrodrome, but I know that I don’t want to lose ya
Afraid of the walls behind closed doors well I’m just a baby in your armsThe more you speak with people, the more you learn how non-unique your situation is, and that if they can survive it, so can you.
Hang in there brother/sister
It bothers me to no end that there isn’t regulation to shut all the lights off for unoccupied buildings and parking lots at night. So much light and energy pollution for no real benefit.
Hmm, I have a bit mixed feeling about parking lots (unless they are closed with no cars). I once was going to a car in a garage that turned lights off at night and it wasn’t fun. First, you couldn’t see shit if you had no flash light, so finding your car was extra difficult, 2nd no matter if you are man or woman it is fucking scary. Imagine being in an empty parking lot late at night, now imagine it is all that plus pitch black, the parking is open so anyone from the street could go inside.
!fuckcars
Can’t have a scary unlit parking lot if you don’t have a parking lot at all.
There is legislation about that. Not in the US of course, but in France and I think other European countries there is laws requiring to turn off ads, light in empty parkings lots, street lights … In the middle of the night.
Street lights? That’s inarguably too far
LEED building certification requires motion detectors on lights.
Hustling hard to keep their heads above water, or collapsing in front of the TV exhausted. Maybe fantasising about sex or vacations or what they would do if they were rich. Possibly having an existential crisis.
It would perhaps be more interesting if the power went out & you could see the stars - and wonder what everyone of those lights are doing.
Pending on the city skyscrapers and public buildings sometime are used to smooth out spikes in the electric grid. It also means they dont have to use more energy to spool the turbines back up at the power station when demand is greater. Its why you see traffic lights turn on during a sunny day sometimes.
ur mom
Hahaha, looks like a `first world´ country where wealth and power are concentrated in a small area. Go to Latin America and you will see medium-size high-rises for kilometers
Aremindeer for my yearly re-watch of How to loose weight in 4 easy steps
Damn that way good
I miss being able to see Beck Bennett every Saturday :(
