For many years I used to keep my sawzall at a buddies house. Because my Wife decided-- not once-- but twice to cut down the couch we had at the time with the sawzall. The first time she wanted a “small sectional” in her words. The second time she just wanted 2 smaller couches. At the time we were dirt poor and we couldn’t afford to be replacing a couch just ‘because’.
I eventually had to enforce a ‘no touch my tools’ rule and you don’t fix ANYTHING rule to save my sanity and life.
Embrace that shit. Help her enroll in a carpentry class. You can probably find one cheap or free in your closest city. The will to act is harder to come by than the skills to do it right.
First off: I totally agree, teach people these skills.
Secondly: There are however people who should never be trusted with anything more destructive than your average spoon.
A carpentry class will teach you how to make a bird house. Maybe even an end table. Which is cool and all.
But it will not teach you how to trouble shoot a furnace at 11pm on a Saturday night and it’s -25F outside, (it was a sticking vacuum switch I got working and making it a $50 repair the next day rather than a $800 service call).
It will not teach you to understand what that clunking sound might be on your car. And how important it is. ( That Check Engine code was just a “gas cap leak” because you accidentally didn’t get the cap properly tight or something far more serious).
And most importantly, it will not teach you know what is worth the effort to fix and what is not.
My Wife is a VERY talented and creative artist. She a good painter and she designs and makes some of the most beautiful jewelry I’ve seen. But she’s frankly incompetent with shop tools and repairing things. There are many, many people just like her across the planet, both men and women. Just because someone has the will to act, does not meant they have the aptitude to act.
… I mean yeah? You need a HVAC class for furnaces, automotive classes for the car… you didn’t just magically know wtf you’re doing because of “Who you are as a person”. Yes, there are many, many people just like her across the planet… until they gain the knowledge.
This is some weird “they’re just not capable” gate-keeping. Show your spouse what your commenting about them and I 100% believe they will prove you wrong. You might try even encouraging, learning with, or helping them build confidence instead of telling them they’re not allowed to FIX ANYTHING in their own fucking house. Jfc.
You would be wrong. There are many, many people who little aptitude for fixing things. And my Wife has tried to “prove me wrong” more than once. Even she admits it always ends up cost us more than if she had not tried to fix something because I then need to go back and redo everything. Often at the added expense of extra repairs that now need to be done.
She flat out admits that she has no ability to fix things herself. Jfc
Then help her do it right. To paraphrase Robert Jordan’s The Wheel of Time, “the greatest things from the age of legends came from men and women working together.”
Only a few sentences on Lemmy from one person’s pov but that rings loudly of a mental disorder that requires professional intervention. IANAD. But if my SO decided to sawzall a piece of our furniture on a whim my reaction would be, “You’re out of your fuckin’ mind.”
For many years I used to keep my sawzall at a buddies house. Because my Wife decided-- not once-- but twice to cut down the couch we had at the time with the sawzall. The first time she wanted a “small sectional” in her words. The second time she just wanted 2 smaller couches. At the time we were dirt poor and we couldn’t afford to be replacing a couch just ‘because’.
I eventually had to enforce a ‘no touch my tools’ rule and you don’t fix ANYTHING rule to save my sanity and life.
Embrace that shit. Help her enroll in a carpentry class. You can probably find one cheap or free in your closest city. The will to act is harder to come by than the skills to do it right.
First off: I totally agree, teach people these skills.
Secondly: There are however people who should never be trusted with anything more destructive than your average spoon.
A carpentry class will teach you how to make a bird house. Maybe even an end table. Which is cool and all.
But it will not teach you how to trouble shoot a furnace at 11pm on a Saturday night and it’s -25F outside, (it was a sticking vacuum switch I got working and making it a $50 repair the next day rather than a $800 service call).
It will not teach you to understand what that clunking sound might be on your car. And how important it is. ( That Check Engine code was just a “gas cap leak” because you accidentally didn’t get the cap properly tight or something far more serious).
And most importantly, it will not teach you know what is worth the effort to fix and what is not.
My Wife is a VERY talented and creative artist. She a good painter and she designs and makes some of the most beautiful jewelry I’ve seen. But she’s frankly incompetent with shop tools and repairing things. There are many, many people just like her across the planet, both men and women. Just because someone has the will to act, does not meant they have the aptitude to act.
… I mean yeah? You need a HVAC class for furnaces, automotive classes for the car… you didn’t just magically know wtf you’re doing because of “Who you are as a person”. Yes, there are many, many people just like her across the planet… until they gain the knowledge.
This is some weird “they’re just not capable” gate-keeping. Show your spouse what your commenting about them and I 100% believe they will prove you wrong. You might try even encouraging, learning with, or helping them build confidence instead of telling them they’re not allowed to FIX ANYTHING in their own fucking house. Jfc.
You would be wrong. There are many, many people who little aptitude for fixing things. And my Wife has tried to “prove me wrong” more than once. Even she admits it always ends up cost us more than if she had not tried to fix something because I then need to go back and redo everything. Often at the added expense of extra repairs that now need to be done.
She flat out admits that she has no ability to fix things herself. Jfc
Then help her do it right. To paraphrase Robert Jordan’s The Wheel of Time, “the greatest things from the age of legends came from men and women working together.”
This is true. Working together by supporting each other with the skills they are best at.
Well not with that attitude.
It sounds like she wants to learn and you have to start somewhere.
Been down that road. She does not want to learn to do things properly.
What the actual fuck lmao
Sofas are generally a pretty simple wood frame with a bunch of padding and upholstery. I’m not sure a sawz-all is the ideal tool though.
Only a few sentences on Lemmy from one person’s pov but that rings loudly of a mental disorder that requires professional intervention. IANAD. But if my SO decided to sawzall a piece of our furniture on a whim my reaction would be, “You’re out of your fuckin’ mind.”
Also “I’m not helping pay to replace that, this just became entirely your problem”