I’m 31, my husband is 51, and lately I’ve been feeling some baby fever. For the record, kids aren’t a must for me, I’m genuinely happy with or without them, but I think it would be nice to experience that journey. My husband is hesitant, though. Even though he’s very healthy, active, and energetic, he feels like having a child in his 50s might be too late. He also already has a 27-year-old son, and he worries that the big age gap between siblings would feel strange.

I guess I’m just looking to hear what others think about this situation.

  • Professorozone@lemmy.world
    152·
    2 days ago

    You’re asking for opinions so here’s mine.

    1. It’s kind of a shitty world to bring a child into. I know people have said this for probably centuries, but now it’s more true, I think, due to climate change, politics, technology, etc.

    2. Are you wealthy? If not, kids are expensive and makes you more dependent on not losing your job.

    3. Kids ruin your independence and maybe your relationship. Would you and your husband agree on how the child would be raised. What would happen if you broke up?

    4. Your husband will be 70 when the child turns 18. SEVENTY! ( I can’t see the post while I’m typing. I think you said he’s 51, right? )

    People always say they are happy they did it and wouldn’t give up parenthood for anything. But they also say they were happiest BEFORE the children arrived.

    That said there are lots of positives too, but this is sort of from my perspective when we had to make the choice. My wife is a devout Christian and I’m an atheist. I let her do her thing and she lets me do mine. We don’t talk about religion really, but a decision would have to be made regarding a child.