Circulation issues have been plaguing me for the past several months, and getting a doctor’s appointment is taking an eternity. As I’ve been waiting, the issue has only worsened, to the point where I am quickly losing sensitivity in my hands and fingers. EDIT: “Quickly” as in over the span of a few days or weeks having cold hands, not hours. If that makes a difference.
As a cis male, this has also begun to affect a certain part of the body that requires good blood flow to properly function. Without an incredible amount of sexual excitement, it remains worryingly cold and lifeless. I’m enjoying what I have left while it lasts, but it would be horribly fitting for me to lose feeling there too before I can even set foot into the vascular specialist’s office.
It’s brutal. It really is. I’m in my early 20s, and this, on top of a multitude of chronic health problems, is hitting me all at once. I’ve never had a partner, but I was always so excited to find one someday. But now, things have just gotten a whole lot harder. (That is, except for one thing.)
I don’t want to lose hope. I’ve already tried that in the past from my other health issues, and it only makes things worse. But it’s kind of difficult to imagine what a relationship looks like without functioning parts. Especially when this doesn’t magically make me asexual. I still want to enjoy some kind of sexual activity, but I’m not sure that I’ll be able to do it in the way that most women who would otherwise be compatible with me are hoping for.
I’d appreciate any kind of hope or encouragement, or just practical advice for what to do if the worst comes to pass. I feel that this is a scenario that I need to be prepared for, because god knows that the medical system isn’t fast enough to do anything except record the damage that has already been done.
Thank you, and I wish you all luck in dealing with whatever fucked up shit has come your way, too.
EDIT 2: You know what? Maybe this isn’t about my junk as much as it is my entire fucking body. “Oh that’s weird, the lack of circulation has spread from my fingers to my entire hand in a few days.” Uh, yeah, you THINK? My feet are turning blue, my hands are going numb, my mouth is getting cold, and I’m worried about THIS? Maybe the commenters telling me to get care immediately have a point. Maybe I’m the meme guy who worries about the economy while a meteor crashes into Earth.
So, any advice on how to get these guys to actually listen? Not sure if this is just an American thing, but I’ve had some bad luck with ERs:
I’ve been kicked of the ER after suddenly losing all feeling in my arm (which thankfully came back a day later).
Another time, I had sudden weakness that was bad enough that I lost the ability to stand while in the waiting room. They checked my basic vitals, saw normal numbers, and rolled me out of the place at 3 AM in a wheelchair after accusing me of making up my symptoms.
When I went to the urgent care for this circulation issue (because the tip of my toe was literally turning black) the doctor told me that it wasn’t urgent and set me up with this vascular specialist. He said casually that it might be some kind of heart problem, but I’d probably be fine because I’m young. That was 3 months ago. The circulation in my hands has diminished during that medium-term time frame, which is the worst time scale for degenerative changes to occur, because it’s not urgent enough for most doctors to consider it an emergency, but not long-term enough for regular appointments to catch it in time.
I appreciate the suggestion to seek emergency care, I really do, but I’ve been burned so many times while losing thousands of dollars in the process that it’s not so clear cut to risk going for a medium-term issue. I don’t have much in savings left, and my parents have made it clear that they won’t be of any help. They accuse me of overreacting and saying that I’m completely healthy despite being physically disabled, and that I will be financially punished for seeking care. (Unrelated, but they are also full-throated fascists who believe that the Holocaust was justified, just to make it crystal clear what kind of people I’m dealing with here.)
It seems that my conditions are downplayed because of my youth, and to make matters worse, I had already been diagnosed with small-fiber peripheral neuropathy for completely DIFFERENT chronic pain years ago that couldn’t be explained, so they could write it off as that despite my hands demonstrably being ice cold when they weren’t before.
So if I’m going to do something like this, I need to do it right. I’m open to suggestions if anyone has any.
Tell em if arthritis runs in your family. Try to pique curiosity with family history. That helped me get care when I was younger.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Raynaud_syndrome
ER is for treating emergencies. If they look into an symptom and it’s not something life threatening or similarly serious, they are just going to tell you to follow up with your primary care physician. Do that. Just because it’s a serious issue for you doesn’t make it a medical emergency, right?
Like if you get cancer, the ER isn’t going to do an emergency operation, they are going to tell you to get an oncologist and even though that’s life threatening for you, you aren’t going to die tomorrow or in the next week so that’s a problem for a specialist not an ER.
You have to work the system. Good luck, fren.
Keep trying. When you visit the ER, you are seeing individual people. Some people are better or worse than at their jobs. Some care more or less, have different biases. Keep trying until you get someone who takes you seriously. Try different hospitals if you can, some are on average better or have ER rooms that are less overwhevlmed. Be insistant that your problem is serious and getting worse.
Get your pcp involved. They should be freaking out if parts of your body are going numb.
Have you been tested for Lyme?