a lot of older people downsize when their kids move out,

And we plan to, when both kids move out. But just one kid, with one five years behind the other? But anyway, isn’t moving the guest space to the main house section and renting out the apartment essentially “downsizing” to a three-bedroom anyway? Either way, the house remains a two-unit house. If somebody wants a temporary living situation by themselves or with one partner, what is wrong with them renting an apartment from me?

Look, I get it, the system is set up to screw people over to get big corpos big money. If somebody is living in apartment for a decade, that is a fucked up situation. But where I live there are military single young’uns wanting to get out of barracks for a year or two before their tour is done and they transfer, or regularly traveling nurses or others who come seasonally for work who aren’t in a position to buy a house and wouldn’t want to.

This whole “no good landlords” reeks of the same mentality as “no good lawyers.” Yes, there are a lot of greedy, unscrupulous (or overly adversarial) lawyers, but there are situations where having a lawyer is really important and there are plenty of good ones for those situations. The problem is a system that allows and encourages the profession to be abused.

First, that doesn’t solve the problem because then somebody else has two units in one building.

Second, downsize… from a four bed to a three bed? Not sure what sense that makes. Our needs won’t have changed dramatically.

Another piece that I didn’t mention is that I’m in the military, in a place with 3-year tours (so fairly temporary), and the young single people who arrive usually don’t wany anything too permanent, and are not in a position to buy. But I do know what their allowance for housing it, so I would be able to charge less than their allowance for housing, meaning they would get money out of the deal (and stuff is expensive here, so I’m not sure how they live anyway), and I get a respectful, reliable tenant (and we could offer home-cooked meals to whoever stays).

I know it’s a unique circumstance, and an exception hardly disproves the rule, but I don’t think “there’s no such thing as a good landlord” is a true blanket statement.

there is no such thing as a good landlord.

Okay, I’ll bite. I just bought a 4-bed/3-bath (actually 4 bathrooms, but bathroom math made it “3-bath”) because we are a family of four in an expensive tourist spot and wanted a guest bedroom for family and visitors. It just so happened one bed and a 3/4 bathroom is in an attached 1-bedroom apartment with its own kitchen and living room.

So when I retire, and my oldest is out of the house to college, we are thinking we could rent that particular part (at a very reasonable rate to people we know). It is part of the house, so I can’t sell it separately. So the choice is be a landlord, or don’t offer housing (I suppose I could make it an AirBnB and make even more money, but this area is already fucked for housing for that reason).

So if there is no such thing as a good landlord, what would you recommend in a situation like this? Let someone live there for free? Then they’d be costing me money. Don’t rent it out? AirBnB?

I’m with you on words just being words. But there is one factor, especially in ongoing relationships (romantic, platonic, familial, whatever), that makes apologies important.

I don’t care about the feeling bad or the words or whatever, but I do care about acknowledging wrong-doing. Because if they haven’t apologized, they might not think what they did was wrong, and there is absolutely no reason to believe if the situation came up that they wouldn’t do it again.

Now, don’t get me wrong, plenty of people apologize and then do the thing again. But if they don’t even apologize, it’s practically guaranteed. The apology just sends the message that you and they are on the same page about whatever it is.

I assumed it was a smoker

I live on an island in Alaska, so my Amazon alternatives are usually Walmart, maybe Target… not a lot of others. If I can buy direct from the company I will, but a lot of times Amazon is the only real option (and no option to buy local).

More of a respect-loop, but my world history teacher in high school would sit at his desk and all of us would chat or whatever until he was ready to start the lesson. Then, without saying a word, he would get up, walk to the front of the class, and sit on the stool there, and within seconds the classroom was silent with every student looking at him. The man never raised his voice (unless he was telling a story), and ultimately never needed to. He didn’t believe in homework, because he respected our time. He never talked down to anyone.

He got respect, behaved in a way that justified that respect, and got more respect. It was inspiring.

I’ll be honest, it’s pretty hit and miss. You get someone just throwing diced avo on toast, and it’s pretty mid. But you go to a place that seasons it, includes grilled onion and peppers, uses high-quality sourdough bread, and covers it in bacon and a fried egg? One of the best things I’ve eaten. And one of the messier.

Yeah, I’ve always thought trucks are dumb, but the bus and my bike can’t pull my boat, and I live on island, so…

Even if they were trying to flirt, being told repeatedly not to do something that they keep doing anyway is not flirting.

It was so bad that Team America World Police had a song about how bad it was as their ballad.

I just bought a house with an attached 1-bedroom apartment (with its own address). My 11-year-old daughter has already laid claims to taking it when she graduates high school. So I don’t think she’s feeling stifled at all, lol.

Better be prepared to pay rent if she’s not in school come the fall after high school, though (I’ll give her the summer to get her plans worked out).

First time I bought a firearm in my life (after 40 years on this earth) was specifically protection from bears when I moved to Alaska.

I get that I’m part of that very small percentage, but it’s funny to be pointed out for it when where I am it is super common (also common to see people strapped on hiking trails with their kids and dogs).

I liked it a lot growing up in the US. I still have the mental image of them “fixing” a flat tire (by duct taping a new tire to the flat) and the good tire popping off and rolling away when they drove away.

If women can’t find you handsome, they should at least find you handy.

Hopefully COPS.

To be clear, that list (aro and “black-pilled”) was not all-inclusive. There are plenty of people who just don’t want to date, for whatever positive reason (e.g. too busy, focusing on other things, not feeling like making the effort) or even some with negative reasons (e.g. not feeling like they are in good working order mentally, just got out of a relationship and want to spend some time on their own, trauma) that aren’t aro or “black-pilled.” THIS LIST IS ALSO NOT ALL-INCLUSIVE.

Also:

You’re a bigot.

Just… don’t. Stop throwing the word around so spuriously, or it could lose its meaning. It’s an important word, and using it like that leads to the kind of linguistic drift that takes the meaning out of the language.

That is very obviously not what anyone is saying. Not dating because you are not interested in dating is different than not dating because you’re down on yourself and blame the world (and those of the gender you find attractive) for creating your situation.

I think you know the answer to that.

Butter croissant actually seems like a decent name for a guinea pig.

If we’re including drinking, coffee is a pretty good name, but not for such a light colored guinea pig.

I’ve heard “what if there’s an emergency or fire,” and I feel like the answer is “take three seconds to put on pants.”