I blame the parents and schools for not doing anything about bullies and teasing. I was in the trenches as a kid, I remember all the Jack Shit they did back then.

It’s what they use to train new cops.

Dude, who even takes size C?

Because they saw old movies and cartoons where ridiculous villains had gator-filled moats around their evil lairs and felt inspired.

Maybe it’s in Russia.

My dad’s gas grill doesn’t do this either. Sometimes the boomer inability to understand technology is a blessing. Now if only he’d stop downloading sketchy slots games and getting viruses…

No, this is a lemon

There’s three hamsters running on a wheel in shifts up in my skull.

CNN seems to be under the misbelief that I want to live longer. 46 is already too long.

A lot of people are some combination of lazy, stupid, ignorant, and/or indifferent.

Just pick your poison and dispense for like 1 second into the tray. Yes it’s wasteful, but that’s their fault for making you have to flush the tube.

Well given the low likelihood that any of them have intelligent life the fact that you’re able to ask means the chances are probably 100%

There’s a bunch that turn out to be idiots just regurgitating the description of a creature they recently saw in a movie.

Clown college.

No, seriously.

Oh 4chan, no question.

Existence. It’s also a paradox because without existence it’s impossible to be either evil or necessary.

It’s a place where men are men and pigs are nervous.

Hamsters? I didn’t know y’all enough to trust you with cats or dogs outright.

It wouldn’t help, there’s an unstoppable army of fuckheads that blindly vote Republican no matter who it is. At this point I’ve just given up entirely.