We have decided some brain quirks are disorders (and get accommodations, as is compassionate), whilst others are flaws (and get slurs). But no one picks their hardware. You cannot earn a better prefrontal cortex or deserve a calmer amygdala. Nor does one get to pick the environment they are born in, which will inform their choices later in life. Even the capacity to “learn better” is a roll of the dice, some brains start the race with sprinting shoes, others with lead weights.
So when we call someone stupid, lazy or insane we are not describing a choice, but simply announcing which kinds of unlucky we’ve decided are worthy of scorn.
Noone calls anyone stupid, lazy or insane in an attempt to accurately describe them. They are all insults used on normal AND neurodivergent people or to describe “bad” behavior.
Also, occasionally I might make a stupid choice. And I know it is harder for me to make the right choice because of how my brain is wired, but it is still objectively the stupid choice and I knowingly show stupid behavior. Although I might have compassion for myself because of my neurodivergence, it doesn’t change the fact that my behavior is stupid.
Oh but there certainly are people who wield every one of those insults against another with the intent to describe the core of their being. The difference between calling someone stupid, and calling someone’s action stupid is a vast one. I am glad you see it, but many do not.