Like, you aren’t necessarily next door neighbors. You’d have to take the streetcar or bus or commuter rail some distance to go meet your friend. You can’t text “sorry the train is 30 minutes late”, because no cell phones, no internet, no tracking buses or trains on your smartphone. No payphones or landlines.
Letters are only for those cross-continental, cross-oceanic relationships. If you live in the same city, then well you’d still have to meet in person cuz it’s not the digital age, no doomscrolling social media and sending texts and memes.
I feel like those were the days where you could have true friendships in society, not “having friends to send memes”.
Before landlines, you’d write them a letter to arrange a meeting.
The mail was delivered up to 4 times a day depending on where you lived.
And since only one family member (generally the father) had to work to support the family, there was almost always someone home.
So another option would be to simply visit them unannounced at a time you knew they’d be there.
In many regions, it would have been normal to simply walk in to a friend’s house, even without knocking.
Also, you’d know this person from somewhere. Somewhere you met.
Either at work, or at a club, or a union meeting, or a pub. You get the idea.
So you’d see them regularly in person, cause otherwise you wouldn’t get to know them in the first place.
My grandparents told me stories of how they’d have regular times and places. My grandpa told me stories of meeting up with his boys on Saturday mornings at the synagogue, and then going out and about. They’d sometimes park cars for folks, and sometimes take them on unauthorized joy rides. Occasionally folks would borrow a car that no one asked them to park, since apparently I guess folks left keys in cars regularly.
This was in Pittsburgh, and from what I gather captures the experience of the life of a Jewish teenager in the twenties and thirties pretty well.
There was a lot of hanging out on street corners and stoops, and just looking for friends at their regular candy shop/soda joint/pool hall, etc.
It sounds fuckin’ wild, tbh. My grandma says she’d take the bus across town in high school to meet up with her boyfriend and I was like, ‘Was that at all seen as daring or risky? For a young unaccompanied woman to be out like that?’ Apparently not. Folks could really hang.
I don’t know how this relates outside of specific cultures, though. Reading The Autobiography of Malcolm X gave me the sense that a lot of experiences were different depending on race, but just rolling up to your friends’ houses, places of work, or regular hangout spots seems to have been pretty universal.
Btw, PSA: Grandparents are a treasure. If you have any, call them today and ask them what they liked to do on a Saturday when they were 17. It was probably pretty dope.
That was still universal when I was a teenager in the 90s in Germany.
My best friend would just come over, ask if I’m home, and leave again or go look for me in the common places if I wasn’t.
It was awesome, and the loss of that world is something that still hurts.
Where were the common places?
Growing up it wasn’t uncommon for me to go to friend As house unannouced just walk in and find his mom in the backyard ask if flmy friend was there, she would say no. I would go 7 blocks away to friend B do the same thing find his dad in the garage and he say that friend B left an hour ago.
So I would walk 30 mins to the park and see friend D ask them if they seen friend A, they would say no. So I would go to the woods 20 mins away and friend friend A and B just hanging out then spend the next few hours chilling before running home cause the street lights came on.
Mom and dad would be out searching the same way I did for my little brother cause he went to friend A, then they went to B then D then the park. And none of them told their parents.
My dad would just track my brother’s friend group via where they left their bikes or random things in front lawns. So you could track the neighborhood kids that way.
So I would be home alone for an hour or so after dark before Dad and Mom pulled in with my brother and likely 3 other kids who would then stay the night.
Mom would then make dinner for everyone. I would eat the. Leave to back to friend A cause we agreed I would stay over and their parents would take me to school the next day since they left for work after school started instead of before.
So I would then just walk in the dark to my friend’s house
This was middle school for me. I would routinely cover 15+ miles a day back and forth all over the neighborhoods in a single day.
In summer, the local playground, the basketball courts, the lake, or our secret place in the woods where we hid our porn magazines and fought our airsoft battles.
In winter, the video game store where you could play for free to “try them out”, another friend’s place, or my dad’s garage where we tried to build a bungee strap crossbow that shot Bic lighters.
That vacant lot. The one in the summer where we used to smoke pot.
Café, other friends place.
Lol, when he was 17, my papaw was transporting moonshine for his uncle.
My other grandfather was spending weekends driving over to Harlan to go to the movies.
Yeah, location is key to that sentence. Jews in the 1930s in Germany had a very…different experience.
Also, you’ve probably heard of a “calling card,” but these were actual physical things. If you dropped by someone’s home or business when they weren’t there, you could leave behind a card saying you were there and wanted to get in touch.