Empathy is something that’s learned. I used to be anti-gay and less empathetic to people of color because I grew up in a super-conservative all-white bubble. When I had some higher-end school friends realize they were gay and started getting to know more and more people who weren’t WASPs, I began to see individual people instead of “others.” And that’s when I started seriously questioning how I viewed the world.

And a lot of people are on the verge of that social empathy without even knowing it. When you hear someone talk about how Carlos at work is “one of the good ones”, that’s someone who is on the edge of understanding. They actually know Carlos, so they don’t see him as an immigrant, but as a person they like and respect who does good work.

We have to help them understand that Carlos isn’t the exception.