The earliest time I remember her talking about it, I think I was like 8 or 9 years old…
She kept talking about that when she had my older brother, and later me, and she told me being pregnant was hurting her back. And when she had me, whe told me about being worried about the authorities finding out about the 2nd pregnancy and lived those like 9 months in fear.
And she told me about about the C-Section that she had twice for both of me and my older brother, and that she said it hurts a lot.
And like, then she literally lift up her shirt and showed me where she was cut open and like… idk showing scars feel so weird… but I guess she treated it like a battle scar or something… idk…
I remember feeling so bad about it and I felt like I loved her more as a mother.
Then she kept like repeating it every so often and I’m just thinking like: hmm… is this some weird emotional manipulation thing? and it just gets very weird every time she talks about it, and it always ends with something like “I suffered so much for you, you need to ‘behave’ and listen to me” and “if I didn’t have you, I’d be much healthier”
Like I lost count how many times she’ve retold the story, like 20 times at least. I remember being told of it at least once a year. Like I’d talk about my birthday and talk and she’s like: “Oh yea that’s the day I went through so much pain to have you” and “you should take me to have tea/dimsum” (okay this part, it was sometimes said as a “joke”, I was a dependent, of course I couldn’t buy her anything lol)
So I felt so guilty every time I talk about birthday celebrations… cuz like I feel like I owe her or something.
From what I read online, apprarantly childbirth is painful from the accounts of a lot of women… so… I think my mom feels like “I owe her” for the pain… idk lol
I mean, she chose to do it. You’re not the one that got her pregnant, that’s on her and your father. Personally, I wouldn’t feel any guilt for that, she shouldn’t keep bringing it up, that’s a little weird. C-sections are pretty insane though,
This is the first moving name tag that I’ve ever seen. Sorry for changing the subject.
While true in many cases, it’s not universal. My GF and I have four kids together, and while she cam atteat that pregnancy takes a toll on a body, it’s not something that should define the mother-child relationship.
You have to think that for most of human history, the women who were educated and well off enough to write about the pain of child birth were upper class white women who had never really undergone physical hardship.
From my wife’s account, being pregnant is great, birth is fine except for the last 2-3 contractions, which are pretty rough. Then again she runs marathons for fun and it’s an OB gyn nurse, so she understands that having a baby is like any other extreme physical activity
So, it might not be as bad as certain women describe it? I mean, periods sound pretty rough, especially for those with endometriosis, I’d expect that squeezing a couple kilos of bone and flesh out is pretty shit too. I personally wouldn’t want any part of that sort of thing, controversial, I know.
There are probably people exaggerating it, as well as people downplaying it. However, the variation is to big for an outsider to be certain either way.
It varies a lot from woman to woman and from one pregnancy to another. Anywhere from, “That’s it? That wasn’t so bad,” to, “Oh, god! Kill me to make the pain stop!”